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Christmas Past

Saturday Night Live 2013 Season 39 Episode 10

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

The Ghost of Christmas Past hauls a pajama-clad Scrooge back to the Fezziwig party, where a dance-floor reunion with his old flame reveals why he has been so lonely for so long.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Following a Dickens title card, the Ghost of Christmas Past leads a bewildered Scrooge into the warm Christmas Eve gathering of his former boss. Young Ebenezer is there in his finery, chatting with Belle in the breathless slang of an overworked modern professional, and a violinist whips the room into a group jig while the ghost eggs the old man on to watch. Pulled aside again later, the younger Ebenezer unloads his worries about growing into a wealthy, solitary old man, and the ghost gently names what Scrooge buried that night instead of money. The spirit then hands the shaken miser off to the next ghost, a shaggy, wreathed visitor with plans of his own.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 8

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

I'm never going to get to cuddle with a big beefy man ever.

Well, I got to make room for the next ghost.

Back to your place. I heard you got money.

ScriptEnglish · 44 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:01
Ebenezer Scrooge
Ah! What is the meaning of this? Where are we? I can't see. Oh, wait. Where have you taken me, ghost of Christmas past? The air here is so clean and different than the city.
00:15
Ghost of Christmas Past
Look around you, Ebenezer Scrooge. I think you'll recognize this place from your younger days.
00:23
Fezziwig
Know what? It's Christmas Eve, and we're going to dance and jig and drink. Isn't that right, Mrs. Fezziwig?
00:32
Mrs. Fezziwig
Oh, I think I'll skip the jig and go right to the drink.
00:37
Fezziwig
Hurrah!
00:39
Ebenezer Scrooge
Why, that's old Fezziwig, my former boss.
00:43
Ghost of Christmas Past
And look over there. Do you remember that young woman?
00:49
Ebenezer Scrooge
Oh, that's Belle. I'd forgotten how beautiful she was.
00:54
Ghost of Christmas Past
And look at who she's talking to. Recognize him?
00:57
Ebenezer Scrooge
Can it be?
00:58
Belle
Hello, Ebenezer. I'm glad you made it to the party.
01:01
Young Ebenezer
Oh, my God, Belle, how am I even here right now?
01:07
Young Ebenezer
Work is so crazy. I've just been working my fanny off down to nothing, and now I was going to make cookies for the party, then I'm like, when's cookies going to happen? I mean, they can't. Sorry, cookies are tried.
01:19
Belle
Yeah, yeah.
01:20
Ebenezer Scrooge
Oh, is that really me? Oh, I was so full of life.
01:27
Ghost of Christmas Past
Yeah, something like that.
01:29
Ebenezer Scrooge
What are you getting at?
01:31
Ghost of Christmas Past
well just watch some more you're about to really get going oh look at everyone doing the jig
01:36
Belle
ebenezer that doesn't look like fun
01:38
Young Ebenezer
oh my god fun and a half if i lift you jake let's do it
01:41
magic We're creating magic We're creating magic
01:50
Ebenezer Scrooge
i was so into her but i was so focused on money that i didn't realize it
02:00
Ghost of Christmas Past
yeah i think you're missing one big realization like
02:05
Ebenezer Scrooge
what spirit
02:06
Ghost of Christmas Past
well hopefully this will clear Clear it up. Watch.
02:10
Belle
Ebenezer, what's wrong? Aren't you having fun?
02:13
Young Ebenezer
I'm never going to meet anybody. All I do is work all the time. Then I get one chance to come to a party and all I'm doing is hanging around with you.
02:22
Belle
I hate to see you upset. I think you're just lonely. Maybe you should get a pet. Like a little kitty cat to play with.
02:29
Young Ebenezer
Why would I want to play with some pussy? Not interested.
02:35
Belle
I don't understand.
02:38
Young Ebenezer
I'm just worried I'm going to grow up to be this old rich man living in this big old house and I'm never going to get to cuddle with a big beefy man ever.
02:50
Ebenezer Scrooge
Oh, wow. Yeah, I see what you mean. That was a dark moment. I put that entire party out of my mind.
02:59
Ghost of Christmas Past
You did. And because you didn't celebrate your true self, you wound up a loveless, rich, unhappy old fart.
03:07
Ebenezer Scrooge
Well, maybe it's not too late.
03:09
Ghost of Christmas Past
It is.
03:10
Ebenezer Scrooge
I could meet somebody.
03:11
Ghost of Christmas Past
No, not at your age. Nobody wants this. Well, I got to make room for the next ghost. Have a good one, okay?
03:21
Ebenezer Scrooge
No, Spirit! Spirit, don't leave me here, please!
03:25
Ebenezer Scrooge
Hello! Who are you?
03:30
Ghost of Christmas Present
I'm the ghost of Christmas presents.
03:32
Ebenezer Scrooge
Presents, indeed. Where are you taking me?
03:36
Ghost of Christmas Present
Back to your place. I heard you got money.
03:38
Ebenezer Scrooge
Hot dog! That's happy enough of an ending for me.
03:42
We're creating magic! We're creating magic! We're creating magic! ¶¶