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Lowered Expectations: Louise
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A bespectacled spokeswoman at a desk beside a cherub statue asks viewers whether they are shy, overlooked or holding out for a young, perfect partner they will never get, and presents Lowered Expectations: a video library stocked with thousands of singles who have been turned down just as often. The first featured profile is client #342, Louise, who lounges on a red velvet loveseat in a beaded orange outfit and sells herself with racetrack and rodeo double entendres before listing what attracts her (bowling shoes, buffets, men who can absorb a hit) and what puts her off. The spokeswoman returns with the number to dial, and the service's jingle plays over footage of a couple strolling at sunset.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Louise
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Do you find yourself serving punch at parties?
I like my men like I like my meat, lean and stringy.
Now, I may look like a saddle, but I know how to ride.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Lowered Expectations debuted in MADtv's fifth episode (November 11, 1995), which featured four separate client ads: Louise (#342), Hank (#574), Patty (#315) and Jeremy (#423). Louise's ad was the first of them and includes the spokeswoman's introduction to the service.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Lower expectation
- 00:04
Spokeswoman
are you desirably impaired do you find yourself serving punch at parties
- 00:12
Spokeswoman
would you describe yourself as shy old-fashioned not on anyone's a list
- 00:16
Spokeswoman
is your ideal date someone in their early 20s with a perfect body and a sparkling personality
- 00:21
Spokeswoman
well unless you win the lottery you're never going to land that dream book
- 00:26
Spokeswoman
but that doesn't mean you can't find somebody and that's
- 00:29
Spokeswoman
That's why lowered expectations may be for you.
- 00:32
Spokeswoman
Our video library is packed with thousands of chronically rejected singles just like you.
- 00:38
Louise
Louise number 342.
- 00:40
Louise
Hey, boys. I've been around the track, and I know how to win, place, and show.
- 00:46
Louise
I like my men like I like my meat, lean and stringy.
- 00:51
Louise
Now, I may look like a saddle, but I know how to ride.
- 00:54
Louise
Turn-ons, comfortable bowling shoes, buffets, and guys who can take a punch.
- 01:01
Louise
Turn-offs, filter cigarettes, last call, and guys who fall asleep inside of you.
- 01:08
Spokeswoman
For Louise, press pound 342.
- 01:11
Lowered expectations.
- 01:12
Spokeswoman
When you've been blown off by the rest, settle for what you can get.
- 01:15
AN No word EXPECTATION
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
