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Sally O'Malley's Rockette Open Audition
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
At a Radio City open audition for a replacement Rockette in the Christmas spectacular, the choreographer Mr. Monroe, sipping a soda and trading wisecracks, winnows the nervous hopefuls: one is a first-timer he dismisses after a single line, another a theme-park dancer he sends off to a producer's office. Then Sally O'Malley barges in, announcing her age over and over and proudly demonstrating her signature kick-stretch-kick. Mr. Monroe cuts the rest of the room but keeps her, tests her with an easy routine and then a flashier showpiece, and finally suggests that a woman of her age could never keep up with the high steppers. Sally answers with a pep talk about never taking no for an answer, drags the whole company into her routine and ends up kicking and lifting with the real, elf-costumed Rockettes, earning a tabloid front page declaring her the oldest Rockette ever.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Let's stop yapping and start tapping.
The four of you stunk on ice.
Nobody ever says never to Sally O'Malley, you got that?
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:03
Mr. Monroe
all right ladies listen up as you know we're looking for another Rockette replacement for our Christmas spectacular unfortunately one of our girls was knocked up by the guy who played the Nutcracker but before we get going why don't you tell me a little bit about yourselves you you in the blue
- 00:27
Katie Riley
hi my name is Katie Riley I'm super psyched to be here and this is my first professional audition.
- 00:34
Mr. Monroe
It's also your last perky pants get the heck out of here next
- 00:41
Stephanie Jensen
Hi, I'm Stephanie Jensen, and I'm currently performing in the tropical bird fantasy of Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida. and I can do Chinese splits on stage or in a restroom.
- 00:54
Mr. Monroe
how about in a Broadway producer's office?
- 00:57
Stephanie Jensen
yes.
- 00:58
Mr. Monroe
Tomorrow afternoon, about noon. Okay. who's next?
- 01:02
Sally O'Malley
Excuse me. I'm here for the auditions. I'm here for the auditions.
- 01:09
Mr. Monroe
Who are you?
- 01:11
Sally O'Malley
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Sally o'malley. I'm proud to say I'm 50 years old and not one of those gals who's afraid to hide her age, unlike some other gals, and I like to kick stretch, and kick! I'm 50! 50 years old! 50 50 years old! 50! 50!
- 01:33
Mr. Monroe
Okay, alright. Miss 50?
- 01:36
Sally O'Malley
50 years old.
- 01:37
Mr. Monroe
Let's stop yapping and start tapping. Alright. Alright, let's see. Line up a little bit. Here's a little... Pay attention here. There's a little something that I call stepping on the raindrops, okay? Okay?
- 01:50
Mr. Monroe
Shashay, hip, sashay, and hip. Prepare, turn, and pose. Alright Now Now let's see you do it. Okay? And.
- 02:06
Sally O'Malley
Shashay, hip, sashay, and hip. 50 I'm 50! 50 years old! 50 years old! I like to do plies. 50 years old.
- 02:22
Mr. Monroe
All right, you, you, you, and you come forward. The four of you stunk on ice. Hit the bricks, go, get out.
- 02:35
Mr. Monroe
But you, Sally O'Malley, yeah I'm not ready to throw you back in the water yet baby yeah why do you think that is
- 02:43
Sally O'Malley
I don't know but my husband who passed away not too long ago God rest his soul said that I was a shoot shoot Charlie Anna class act
- 02:55
Mr. Monroe
that's pretty good because my wife my ex-wife she said I was a steamboat Willie and the and the cream of the crop.
- 03:08
Sally O'Malley
Ooh.
- 03:10
Sally O'Malley
I like your style, Monroe, and in case you forgot, I like to shimmy, kick, stretch, and kick! I'm 50! Book them, Danno! I'm 50! 50 years old. 50 years old.
- 03:28
Sally O'Malley
All right. So when do I start? When do I start?
- 03:30
Mr. Monroe
Wait, not so fast, O'Malley. You're full of zip, zap, and pizzazz, but do you still have the moves? All right, listen, watch this here. This is one I call Cherry's Jubilee. Okay, and slide, and kick, and turn and leap and pose. Piece of cake. That's how you do it. Piece of cake.
- 03:54
Sally O'Malley
And slide and kick and turn and leap.
- 03:59
Mr. Monroe
But poof! Ah! I know I know you're 50. Okay, okay, all right, all right. You can keep up. 50 years old?
- 04:10
Sally O'Malley
50 years old.
- 04:13
Mr. Monroe
All right, you're 50.
- 04:14
Sally O'Malley
50 years old.
- 04:15
Mr. Monroe
Yes, you're 50. Okay, all right.
- 04:16
Sally O'Malley
50 years old.
- 04:18
Mr. Monroe
You're 50. So you can keep up with a guy with one lung but let's see how you do with the high steppers in the back room girls let's hit it you Watch this, look at this Sally, look at this baby, look at that, whoa, look at that, that's beautiful baby, yeah, you see, see what i mean sally i mean you know what do you think huh
- 04:51
Sally O'Malley
well huh you got me there well i don't know
- 04:55
Mr. Monroe
thanks for the try yeah i mean you know look sally you know a woman of 50 i mean could never stand a chance here that's all there is
- 05:03
Sally O'Malley
look let me tell you Let me tell you something, Mr. Monroe. Nobody ever says never to Sally O'Malley, you got that? See, see, Mr. Monroe, my daddy always said to me, hit it, lady. He said, somebody said it couldn't be done, but he, with a chuckle, replied, well, maybe it couldn't, but he would be one who wouldn't say no till he tried.
- 05:24
Sally O'Malley
I'm 50. I'm 50. 50. Out of the way, Monroe, I got something to show you.
- 05:29
Mr. Monroe
Let's see it, Sally.
- 05:30
Sally O'Malley
Come on, girls. One, two, three, four, five, six. seven, eight. Ha! Ha! Ha! Five! 50! 50!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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