Last Words

In a hospital room, a veteran stage actor in a paisley dressing gown gathers his three grown-up children for a theatrical farewell. Since the timing of his last breath is out of his hands, he decides to control his final utterance instead, delivers a grand line meant for his headstone and closes with a stage cue, leaving the family to settle into reverent silence. The plan unravels almost at once: a starstruck nurse slips back in to chat about Shakespeare, the actor cannot resist reminiscing about his celebrated Puck, and every new exchange forces him to stage another farewell. When one daughter refuses to keep quiet, the siblings start bickering over childhood embarrassments, and the old man's unguarded jibe ends up carved on his gravestone.

British Comedy Guide lists the sketch as "An actor's last words" in series 1, episode 4, which Channel 4 first broadcast on 26 September 2025. Channel 4 Comedy's YouTube upload is titled "A Famous Actor's Last Words".