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Toilet Death Ejector
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
An elderly couple trade gossip about a friend who was discovered dead on the toilet, and a suited spokesman steps in to promise a dignified alternative. His product senses a death on the seat, hydraulically launches the body across the room onto the bed, flushes, puffs lavender and drops an impressive book onto the corpse's chest to suggest a life of learning. Demonstrations show it launching a bald old man and a grandmother, whose son later finds her sprawled on the bed with Walden and marvels at how wise she was. Test footage of dummies sailing past their beds concedes the device is only mostly accurate, and back at the kitchen table the couple learn that another friend's dignified bedside exit still came with his pants around his ankles.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Dying on the toilet. It's every senior's worst nightmare.
Finally, a smart book will fall from the ceiling onto your chest to imply wisdom.
Every time you hear that sound, an angel gets its wings.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Oz Rodriguez
Director
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Elderly Gentleman ?
You heard about Al? He passed away.
- 00:04
Oh, no. That's awful.
- 00:07
Elderly Gentleman ?
I'll say. They found him on the toilet.
- 00:11
That's so embarrassing.
- 00:14
Spokesperson
Dying on the toilet. It's every senior's worst nightmare. You live a life of grace and honor only to pass in the most humiliating way imaginable. Ass up on a bathroom floor, a loaded toilet rotting behind you. Thankfully, there's a solution that's both elegant and dignified. the toilet death ejector when you're on the toilet and you feel yourself dying simply press the red button hydraulics beneath the seat will propel your dead body forward hurl you gently through the air and deposit you neatly on your bed the toilet will then automatically flush and release a puff of lavender scent finally a smart book will fall from the ceiling onto your chest to imply wisdom Choose from impressive titles like the Bible, Henry David Thoreau's Walden, or latest, Gladwell.
- 01:04
I don't know. That sure seems awfully complicated.
- 01:08
Spokesperson
I'll tell you what's complicated. Explaining to the grandkids that Nana died while taking a giant dump. No matter what the cause of death is, they're gonna assume it was the size of the dump that killed her. So reclaim your dignity.
- 01:20
Son ?
Hey, Mom. Hey, Mom, I just... Oh, no. She was so... She was so wise.
- 01:32
Spokesperson
Our team of engineers guarantees that the toilet-death ejector is mostly accurate.
- 01:39
Elderly Gentleman ?
Yes, Yes, he passed away.
- 01:44
Oh, no.
- 01:45
Elderly Gentleman ?
It's a shame, but at least he died peacefully in bed reading scripture.
- 01:49
Oh, that's nice.
- 01:50
Elderly Gentleman ?
Yeah. Only thing was, his pants were around his ankles, and there was everywhere.
- 01:54
Spokesperson
The toilet-death ejector. Every time you hear that sound, an angel gets its wings.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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