Christmas Cast Party (Secret Santa)

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00

   greetings

2. 00:18
   

   Nicole Parker

   Season's greetings, everybody you know everyone doesn't have a really great voice ike but it's the holiday spirit is what's most important and here at mad tv we have a little tradition that we do where every christmas someone picks a secret santa and then we have a party and we give out gifts and i think you're the first one up ike there's a card on the tree for you with your name on it

3. 00:42
   

   Ike Barinholtz

   thank you nicole Hey, maybe next year we could celebrate Hanukkah.

4. 00:46
   

   Michael McDonald

   Over my dead body!

5. 00:50
   

   Nicole Parker

   Michael.

6. 00:52
   

   Ike Barinholtz

   All right, guys, it seems like Michael hates the Jews. That's not true. He just doesn't like me.

7. 00:57
   

   Nicole Parker

   Just open the card.

8. 00:58
   

   Ike Barinholtz

   Okay, I hope it's money. And it is a coupon for singing lessons. Nicole, this is from you.

9. 01:10
   

   Nicole Parker

   Yes, it is, and I'm not ashamed. Your voice sounds like a cat being neutered with a shrimp fork. Can we please just roll back to the beginning of the scene and isolate Ike's voice, please?

10. 01:19
    

    Ike Barinholtz

    Don't do that.

11. 01:20
    

    Nicole Parker

    Yes, please do it.

12. 01:22
    

    Ike Barinholtz

    Silent night.

13. 01:23
    

    Nicole Parker

    See what I mean? Okay, that's enough.

14. 01:26
    

    Ike Barinholtz

    Holy night.

15. 01:27
    

    Nicole Parker

    Okay, turn it off. Turn it off! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

16. 01:32
    

    Ike Barinholtz

    You know, Nicole, I'm reminded of an old holiday expression. Go yourself!

17. 01:37

    Hey,

18. 01:38
    

    Nicole Parker

    Oh, yeah, we'll use the coupon, Ike! Okay, everybody. buddy why don't we get things going again why don't we pick another gift frank pick another gift

19. 01:48
    

    Frank Caeti

    oh uh here's one for you keegan

20. 01:50
    

    Keegan-Michael Key

    oh hey oh great i love getting gifts thank you oh thank you krista a fart machine i love these

21. 02:12
    

    Nicole Randall Johnson

    Keegan, what's wrong?

22. 02:13
    

    Keegan-Michael Key

    i i can't believe somebody would give me that when i was a teenager i weighed 750 pounds and uh

23. 02:23
    

    Keegan-Michael Key

    get

24. 02:26

    Oh, my God.

25. 02:28
    

    Keegan-Michael Key

    Where did that picture and why would you have it ready to show this is funny you guys think this is funny I had to live in my parents garage on a huge piece of cork board my only companion And it was a parrot named Coco who lived in that garage.

26. 02:47
    

    Keegan-Michael Key

    And Coco, I love you, Jacob. And then I had a huge flatulence problem.

27. 02:58
    

    Keegan-Michael Key

    And is it funny, Bobby? Is it funny, though? I'm burying my soul in the 200 people I've never met before and giggling. There There was no ventilation in the room. and I had admitted so much gas that I poisoned Koko to death. You insane. You insensitive bastards! Koko!

28. 03:29
    

    Nicole Parker

    Krista, stop pressing the fart machine.

29. 03:32
    

    Crista Flanagan

    I didn't.

30. 03:33
    

    Arden Myrin

    I'm sorry, that was me. I ate too much eggnog.

31. 03:38

    Ew.

32. 03:39
    

    Arden Myrin

    I'm sorry.

33. 03:40
    

    Nicole Parker

    Okay. You know what, I think we could all use a little break from the Secret Santa thing, so we'll be right back.

34. 03:45

    Yeah.

35. 03:45
    

    Nicole Parker

    Happy holidays.