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The Christmas Partygoers
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
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The funny people
Meet the cast. 8
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Highly quotable.
Everybody, chill out, and there ain't gonna be any problems, you hear?
He wants us all to have sex with each other.
Let's just do what this monster says.
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Mid-way through a polite holiday get-together, an escaped convict storms in and orders everyone to hand over wallets and car keys. The panicked guests talk themselves into believing he secretly wants a show, and they begin undressing and pairing off to appease him, narrating their own sacrifices with absurd dignity. The robber insists he only wants the money and tries to stop the proceedings, but the party keeps escalating with props, a video camera and increasingly strange offers. When he finally flees in disgust, the guests agree to keep going just in case he returns.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Partygoer
So I told him, you're the one with the broken leaf blower.
- 00:06
Partygoer
John was so mad. You should have seen his face. I bet. That's a terrific story. Thank you.
- 00:14
Partygoer
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh,
- 00:19
Escaped Convict
Everybody, chill out. Everybody, chill out, and there ain't gonna be any problems, you hear? All right? Oh, my God. Just shut up, shut up. Now, everybody, take your wallets out, put them on the table. I'm gonna need someone's car keys. Please don't kill us. Shut your mouth and put the money on the table and no one's going to get hurt.
- 00:34
Partygoer
Okay. I know what he wants. He wants us all to have sex with each other.
- 00:42
Partygoer
What? What? No, no. Anthony's right. He wants us to have sex while he watches. Give me a hand with this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, everybody. let's just do what this monster says.
- 00:55
Escaped Convict
No, hey, Please do not take your clothes off, okay? I just want the money.
- 00:58
Partygoer
You are an animal. You are an animal.
- 01:00
Escaped Convict
I just want the money, folks. That's all I want.
- 01:02
Escaped Convict
you don't have to please stop taking clothes off all right
- 01:04
Partygoer
i will have sex with all of these people but you're the one who's going to have to live with yourself how dare you sir
- 01:11
Escaped Convict
all right i don't want this this is not what i want i
- 01:15
Partygoer
bet you want ambience
- 01:18
Escaped Convict
don't light the candle don't light the candle
- 01:19
Partygoer
you have to let the police don't you sick son of a bitch you want me to videotape this whole thing fine i will um not at all not at all is this what you want
- 01:29
Escaped Convict
oh Are you pervert? No! that's just that's that's is terrifying
- 01:35
Partygoer
you sick bastard i bet you want my mom vibrator involved!
- 01:40
Escaped Convict
you bastards i
- 01:42
Partygoer
need a wide angle lens for the sake of everyone's health and to save everyone's lives i will now have sex with everyone's faces and i will touch myself while that happens all right he may come back so let's just keep doing what he said Thank you.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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