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Why You’ll Never Get that Outkast Reunion
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In a 2005 Atlanta coffee shop, a starstruck barista asks Big Boi whether Outkast will work together again just as André 3000 arrives in a feathered green outfit with an elaborate drink order. Big Boi tries to reconnect with his old partner and get a straight answer about what went wrong, but André slips into put-on accents, pitches an album of screeching metal, offers a pinwheel for spiritual insight and leaves for a toga fitting. Big Boi is left alone at his table and ends up covering the drink André never paid for.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Bitch, I'm trying to read a book.
It's not 2,999. It's not 3,001.
Why does your breath smell like birdseed?
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:06
Barista
Hey, man, I just have to say, I am a huge fan. OutKast, like, changed my life.
- 00:12
Big Boi
Thanks, man.
- 00:13
Barista
So you're going to collaborate with Andre 3000 again? How come?
- 00:22
Big Boi
People grow apart.
- 00:31
Andre 3000
Greetings. Man, I have a half-calf, de-calf, mint mocha latte, foam on the bottom, served in a flower vase. And if y'all got some green food coloring back there, Throw it in.
- 00:41
Barista
Andre 3000.
- 00:43
Andre 3000
In the flesh.
- 00:43
Barista
Big boy is right over there.
- 00:46
Andre 3000
Big boy.
- 00:47
Big Boi
Bitch, I'm trying to read a book.
- 00:52
Andre 3000
My brother from another mother, man. And when I say mother, you know I'm talking about Art, right? Because we got cut out of her womb. What's up, man?
- 00:59
Big Boi
What's up, Andre?
- 01:02
Andre 3000
Andre who?
- 01:04
Big Boi
I ain't going to say it, man.
- 01:06
Andre 3000
It's not 2,999. It's not 3,001.
- 01:11
Big Boi
Andre 3000.
- 01:12
Andre 3000
Hey, man, what happened to you after the show?
- 01:14
Big Boi
Yeah, um... I just... I must have, like, snuck out or something like that.
- 01:19
Andre 3000
I thought, perchance, you went missing.
- 01:23
Big Boi
Don't do the voices, man.
- 01:24
Andre 3000
Do what voice, my dear boy?
- 01:26
Big Boi
Why you got to do the voices, man? Why you doing the voices? Why you doing that, man?
- 01:29
Barista
One green, half cap, half decaf, mint mocha latte, foam on the bottom and a vase.
- 01:34
Andre 3000
I got a new idea for an album, man. It's gonna be just the sound of a screeching metal and then only one spoken word per track.
- 01:42
Big Boi
Cool. Cool.
- 01:48
Andre 3000
That's one of them screeching metal sounds I was talking about earlier, man.
- 01:51
Barista
Honey cream, half cap, half decaf, mint mocha latte, foam on the bottom in a vase
- 01:55
Andre 3000
or vase.
- 01:57
Big Boi
You ain't hear? That's your... That's... You the only nigga that ever ordered that drink.
- 02:01
Andre 3000
Yeah, okay,
- 02:02
Big Boi
so what is going on with me? What is happening with... What the fuck happened, man?
- 02:08
Andre 3000
What you talking about?
- 02:09
Big Boi
We used to be somebody, man. We used to be a team. We was on top. Then you went and lost your fucking mind. Can we just lose this, man? Can we just lose the $3,000 and just have you talk as Andre? Tell me. Tell me straight up, man. What happened?
- 02:33
Andre 3000
You know what would be even better, though, man? Is if you look into the pinwheel with your third eye.
- 02:40
Big Boi
I thought she was gonna say some stupid shit like that.
- 02:42
Andre 3000
And everything will be revealed.
- 02:43
Big Boi
All right, man. It's been good, man. Thank you. Thanks for seeing us.
- 02:45
Andre 3000
Okay.
- 02:46
Big Boi
Yeah. Come on by, man.
- 02:46
Andre 3000
As a matter of fact, I got an appointment right now to go get fitted for a toga.
- 02:49
Big Boi
You gotta go.
- 02:50
Andre 3000
Mm-hmm.
- 02:51
Big Boi
You leaving me? That's a...
- 03:01
Andre 3000
Eros, Artemis, and Apollo guide you through your musical journey.
- 03:10
Big Boi
Nigga, what? Why does your breath smell like birdseed?
- 03:21
Andre 3000
I'll be wild.
- 03:22
Andre 3000
Thank you, cafe craftsman.
- 03:27
Barista
You're welcome. Sorry, he didn't actually pay for that drink.
- 03:37
Big Boi
I got it.
- 03:37
Barista
Yeah, yo.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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