Driver's Ed

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00
   

   Driver's Ed Teacher

   Now, everybody in here knows or has heard about the dangers of driving while inebriated. But some of the things people do every single day can be just as dangerous. Now, I'm going to show you a video of a woman who got so wrapped up with her problem at work that she puts herself and others in danger. Now, these videos are a little old.

2. 00:27
   

   Driver's Ed Teacher

   They look a little dated. I don't want to hear any jokes about him and don't let the style distract you And I don't want any questions about the tables

3. 00:39

   Yeah,

4. 00:47
   

   Carrie

   Yep, honey, I'll be home from work soon. I'm just picking up my last table.

5. 00:51
   

   Carrie

   Hey, What the hell did Eddie do to my table? It's filthy. Oh my god.

6. 01:08
   

   Carrie

   What the heck? It's so dirty. These are my livelihood.

7. 01:14
   

   Carrie

   Hey man I just got my table back and I don't know what the hell Eddie Munster did to my table It looks like he stepped on them or I know it's not this it looked like he threw them in a mud puddle These tables are how I buy my house. They keep my house hot.

8. 01:34
   

   Carrie

   If I were a farmer and any monster came in and started kicking my corn you could understand how i could be a bit upset do you understand the tables are corn.

9. 01:45

   What?

10. 01:49
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    Wow. pretty serious any questions

11. 01:55

    yeah what was her job

12. 01:58
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    tables

13. 02:01

    Tables

14. 02:02
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    what do you mean guys what i say

15. 02:06

    her job is so confusing

16. 02:07
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    The job isn't important. It's just a generic job that the writers of this made up for this.

17. 02:14

    But what is the generic job? Just tables and dealing with Eddie Munster.

18. 02:19

    I don't think she should have yelled at Eddie.

19. 02:20
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    She actually didn't yell at Eddie Munster. I've seen this a ton of times.

20. 02:24

    What does she do?

21. 02:25
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    Tables!

22. 02:25

    But how is tables a job?

23. 02:27
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    I can't know how to hear any more about tables. All right. I'm going to show you a whole new video, and I want you to tell me what the person in the video did right or wrong.

24. 02:44

    It's the same woman.

25. 02:45
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    Shh!

26. 02:46
    

    Carrie

    I just got screamed at by Freddy Krueger.

27. 02:49
    

    Carrie

    All I said was, what'd you do to my table? It's filthy. You should be ashamed of yourself. You're a fucking pig.

28. 02:59
    

    Carrie

    And that's when he snapped. I thought he was gonna kill me. I'm so mad about... Fuck! They're so dirty! Ow.

29. 03:16
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    It's pretty crazy. What'd you do wrong?

30. 03:18

    What is her job?

31. 03:20
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    Tables! Do you want me to turn the lights off? Everybody puts their heads down. Nobody gets their license. You gotta walk everywhere. You gotta walk to the food store. You gotta walk to the house. I'm gonna show you one more video.

32. 03:32

    Is it the same woman?

33. 03:33
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    It's the same actress. I don't know if she's supposed to be the same person. Save your questions till the end.

34. 03:38

    I

35. 03:38
    

    Carrie

    Ugh! What the hell happened to this? I'm so mad about that!

36. 03:46
    

    George

    Hey! What's up, Carrie?

37. 03:49
    

    Carrie

    Not now, George.

38. 03:52
    

    George

    Yeah, I heard you had some problems with your tables.

39. 03:54
    

    Carrie

    Go to hell, George, you fucking pig.

40. 03:57
    

    George

    You don't know how to treat the customer. You don't know how to treat the crypt keeper.

41. 04:01

    Come on! Go!

42. 04:02
    

    George

    If you're gonna keep renting tables to Comic-Cons and Horror-Cons, you better learn how to treat the talent.

43. 04:08

    Oh, my God, that's why.

44. 04:09
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    Shut up!

45. 04:11

    This is the maddest I've ever been!

46. 04:19
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    Any Any questions?

47. 04:22

    Why is there swearing?

48. 04:23
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    They didn't. All they said was, shoot.

49. 04:26
    

    Driver's Ed Teacher

    Go away! laugh!