Ronald Funches, Public Defender

Framed as a local legal commercial, the sketch introduces Ron Funches as a public defender who freely admits his clients are going to be convicted but sweetens the deal with a box of his aunt's pecan sandies. A phone call sends him to meet his newest client, Nick Kroll's Dr. Armond, the animal plastic surgeon who has lost his wife, his fortune and his high-priced lawyer. Funches can barely stop giggling at Armond's mopey, oddly phrased protests of innocence, and the two trade affectionate insults before vowing to laugh their way to an acquittal, even though taking the case was never optional for a public defender. The scene then cuts to a televised arraignment, where Armond, charged with second-degree murder, answers the judge's request for a plea with a badly misjudged romantic declaration.

Ron Funches also wrote for Kroll Show and is credited among the writers of this episode. His public defender returns in the following episode, "Bounce", to represent Dr. Armond at trial.