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The Wayne Brady Show
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
With Wayne Brady now hosting Chappelle's Show, Dave returns to demand his program back and reminds Wayne of a night they spent together. In the flashback, a pleasant drive to dinner turns into a crime spree: Wayne guns down men outside a club, collects money from the women working for him, forces a PCP-laced joint on Dave and turns a police stop into a sing-along before knocking the officer out. Wayne finally drops a shaken Dave off with one last blow, and the sketch returns to the two of them on stage, with Wayne still at the microphone.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 7
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?
Thank you, Dave, and I like your show.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Brady told IndieWire in 2012 that Paul Mooney's earlier Negrodamus joke about him, replayed here during Dave's PCP hallucination, had genuinely offended him, and he described this sketch as the follow-up to it.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:05
Speaker 1
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
- 00:10
He's better looking. Agreed. Handsome guy. And charming. And the other thing, cooperative. I just can't believe how funny that is. Agreed. Couldn't be funnier. It's not so much the shock anymore, because the shock is really your body's way of cushioning your mind against the whole horror. It's not what you think, Dave. I said, Dave, it's not what you think. They gave me.
- 00:34
Speaker 1
She is a great cook. Let's have a round of applause for my mom, right? All right. Well, yeah. You guys are too kind. You guys are too kind. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, y'all. It's good to see you, Dave.
- 01:05
Speaker 2
What's up, Wayne?
- 01:06
Speaker 1
What's up, brother?
- 01:08
Speaker 2
I want my show back. Give me my show back now. Just give it back.
- 01:15
Speaker 1
Come on, man.
- 01:16
Speaker 2
OK, you know what? Look, Wayne,
- 01:18
Speaker 1
what? Why don't we host it together?
- 01:22
Speaker 2
Nah, son. No, man, it can't be together, man, because you do different things than I do. The way you do it ain't like the way I do it. You got your thing. I got my thing. I'm trying to do my thing. Come on, Wayne, you know what I'm talking about.
- 01:37
Speaker 1
No, actually, I don't know what you're talking about. What's my thing, Dave?
- 01:40
Speaker 2
Oh, like, remember that time we was hanging out? Remember that, a few months back?
- 01:44
Speaker 1
Dave, I got to tell you, man, I'm really happy to be hanging out with you. This is nice.
- 01:53
Speaker 2
Oh, man, it's just been great, man.
- 01:54
Speaker 1
Well, same here, man. You're busy with your show. I got my stuff. This is really cool.
- 01:58
Speaker 2
Yeah, man. You see, that's the thing with black actors, man. We need to just unify. We can't just be out like...
- 02:03
Speaker 1
Exactly.
- 02:05
Speaker 2
Hey, hold up, Wayne. I think you passed our turn. The restaurant's back that way.
- 02:09
Speaker 1
Nah, that's all right. Relax.
- 02:12
Speaker 2
You going to get some weed?
- 02:14
Speaker 1
No.
- 02:15
Speaker 2
You gonna get some weed and then holler at your boy. I know it's fine.
- 02:19
Speaker 1
Hold on. All right.
- 02:21
Man Outside Club
There he is.
- 02:23
Speaker 1
Break yourself, fool!
- 02:24
Man Outside Club
Aw, s***, it's Wayne Brady, son!
- 02:27
Speaker 1
Dave, calm down.
- 02:41
Speaker 2
What do you mean, calm down? You just shot people, Wayne! Those were people you shot! God damn, man, you got a daytime in me, s***. You ain't supposed to be doing s*** like this.
- 02:50
Speaker 1
Dave, you making me nervous. You making me think that you gonna snitch. Now, you're not gonna snitch, right?
- 02:55
Speaker 2
Oh, man, come on, man, I ain't gonna snitch.
- 02:56
Speaker 1
You sure you ain't gonna snitch?
- 02:57
Speaker 2
It's me. It's Dave, baby. What the f*** are you doing there? Come on. F*** your n***a. Come on. It's me. It's Dave. We black actors, man. We gotta stick together. We black actors. Come on. It's me, baby. It's Dave. Dave Chappelle. It's your boy.
- 03:12
Speaker 1
Okay.
- 03:12
Speaker 1
Sorry, man. I gotta get some money, man. I gotta go to the ATM.
- 03:21
I don't have no money.
- 03:22
Speaker 1
I'll get some money. Right here.
- 03:33
Speaker 2
Where's the ATM at?
- 03:34
Speaker 1
We at it.
- 03:35
Oh, it's Dave.
- 03:44
Speaker 1
Dave Hose. Good evening, b****.
- 03:48
Good tonight.
- 03:49
Speaker 1
That's what I like to hear this. Oh, that's nice. Hey, baby Thank you All right more power to me All right. Thank you, baby. Oh, oh Raquel. What's this? Mr. Franklin's lonely. Just
- 04:05
Raquel
Sorry, daddy.
- 04:07
Speaker 1
What do you mean sorry daddy? Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a to out this car and shoot. I'm not violent, I try not to be. I'm a, you know what? Okay.
- 04:23
Speaker 2
No, no, no, I'm gonna get out of this car right now. Come on, will you please? Please, man. Come on, just let us slap.
- 04:32
Speaker 1
You better thank Dave Chappelle. Go ahead.
- 04:35
Raquel
Thank you, Dave, and I like your show.
- 04:37
Speaker 1
Run, . There you go, pay me back whenever.
- 04:54
Speaker 2
I can't take this money, man. This money ain't clean, man.
- 04:57
Speaker 1
Dave, relax.
- 04:58
Speaker 2
No, man, I can't relax. I don't want this money.
- 05:00
Speaker 1
Dave, you are too uptight. I know. Here, smoke this.
- 05:04
Speaker 2
Nah, I'm cool with it. I don't smoke this.
- 05:05
Speaker 1
Take it. Come on, smoke it.
- 05:07
Speaker 2
I don't want to smoke black.
- 05:08
Speaker 1
This is not an option, . If you do not smoke this, we have a problem. A little damn after-school special. Smoke it. Dave, I didn't know that you like to get wet.
- 05:28
Speaker 2
What do you mean, wet?
- 05:32
Speaker 1
Yeah, brother. That's PCP. Angel dust. Sherman Hensley. Love boat.
- 05:40
Negrodamus
White people love Wayne Grady because he makes Brian Gumbel look like Malcolm X.
- 05:52
Speaker 2
Where are we?
- 06:05
Speaker 1
We got company. Just let me do all the talking, okay?
- 06:09
Police Officer
Good evening.
- 06:11
Speaker 1
Good evening, officer. May I help you?
- 06:13
Police Officer
Yeah. Step out of the car, please.
- 06:16
Speaker 1
Not a word. Coming.
- 06:24
Police Officer
Can I see your license?
- 06:26
Speaker 1
Absolutely.
- 06:34
Police Officer
Holy cow. You're Wayne Brady.
- 06:38
Speaker 1
Guilty as charged.
- 06:40
Police Officer
My mother-in-law loves you.
- 06:42
Speaker 1
Well, thank you very much. Thank you very much.
- 06:45
Speaker 1
The morning I wake up And I put on my makeup I say a little prayer for you
- 06:54
Ooh, to get up, to get up, you'll be in my heart and I will always love you.
- 07:00
Police Officer
She is not gonna believe that this happened.
- 07:02
Speaker 1
That's because she is never gonna know about it, .
- 07:04
Police Officer
What?
- 07:06
Speaker 1
Thank you. Good night.
- 07:09
Speaker 2
That's not my thing, man. That's not my thing. I'm sorry.
- 07:24
Speaker 1
Lastly, I'm not sorry. I don't give a . They cancel my show and goes crazy.
- 07:33
Speaker 2
I just want to go home and see my family, man. I just want to go home and see my family.
- 07:36
Speaker 1
Okay. Dave, you hungry? Come on, you hungry? You want a sandwich?
- 07:43
Speaker 2
I just want to go home.
- 07:46
Speaker 1
Get your sandwich, Dave.
- 07:48
Speaker 2
Please, no.
- 07:50
Speaker 1
Give me your sandwich. I said give me your damn sandwich. I make Brian Gumbel look like Malcolm X, huh, mother ?
- 08:02
Speaker 2
This is me.
- 08:09
Speaker 1
Whatever. Get out. Hey, Dave. Man, really, I had a great time tonight.
- 08:19
Speaker 2
Thank you.
- 08:21
Speaker 1
Black actors, man. Black actors.
- 08:23
Speaker 2
All right. All right.
- 08:24
Speaker 1
O'Day.
- 08:26
Speaker 2
Yeah.
- 08:26
Speaker 1
Quick commercial break.
- 08:46
Speaker 2
Yeah.
- 08:48
Speaker 1
We'll be right back with more Chappelle .
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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