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The Scary Butler

Hale and Pace1998Season 10Episode 3
Hale and Pace
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A couple checking into a castle hotel find out what happens when you don't tip the porter.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Mr and Mrs Thompson arrive at a grand castle hotel, where a wild-haired, ghoulish porter hauls their luggage up to their room. When he lingers for a tip, they apologise that they have no change and promise to catch up with him later. From then on he will not leave them alone: he looms behind Mr Thompson in the shower, ignores the front desk's promise to keep him away, and rises up between the couple in their four-poster bed in the dark. Next morning they drive off with a refund, only for the porter to pop up in their back seat, and the sketch ends with a crash into a lorry with the cackling porter at its wheel.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 4

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Oh, a tip. Um, I'm sorry, I haven't got any change.

I was in the shower, he was standing right behind me.

Go to sleep, love. I'll keep watch.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

ScriptEnglish · 31 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:17

    Thank you. Bye-bye.

  2. 00:20

    Mr Thompson ?

    Hello. Hello. Hi, uh, Mr. and Mrs. Thompson.

  3. 00:22

    Receptionist ?

    Would you like to sign the register?

  4. 00:24

    Mr Thompson ?

    Yeah, sure.

  5. 00:24

    Receptionist ?

    You're in room 34, and that's on the third floor.

  6. 00:28

    Mr Thompson ?

    Thank you very much.

  7. 00:31

    Bags.

  8. 00:34

    Mr Thompson ?

    You OK with those bags?

  9. 00:49

    Keep up.

  10. 00:55

    Hmm? A Stinks bit. The Room. room.

  11. 01:20

    Mrs Thompson ?

    Oh, yes, very nice. Lovely, thank you.

  12. 01:24

    Mr Thompson ?

    Oh, a tip. Um, I'm sorry, I haven't got any change. Have you?

  13. 01:29

    Mrs Thompson ?

    No, I've only got plastics.

  14. 01:31

    Mr Thompson ?

    We'll, um, we'll catch up with you later. Weren't we?

  15. 01:37

    Yes, go on. I'll open the door.

  16. 01:40

    Mrs Thompson ?

    What Oh, what a a scary man.

  17. 01:46

    Mr Thompson ?

    Never mind him. This is a great hotel.

  18. 01:49

    Mrs Thompson ?

    Yes, it is.

  19. 01:50

    Mr Thompson ?

    What do you fancy first, then? Shower or bed?

  20. 01:54

    Mrs Thompson ?

    Hurry up, Paul. It'll be dinner soon.

  21. 02:06

    Mr Thompson ?

    I can't hear you.

  22. 02:08

    Mrs Thompson ?

    When haven't you finished then i

  23. 02:26

    Mr Thompson ?

    I was in the shower, he was standing right behind me.

  24. 02:29

    Receptionist ?

    Yes, of course. We'll look into it, sir.

  25. 02:32

    Mr Thompson ?

    Just keep him away from me, OK?

  26. 02:34

    Receptionist ?

    Of course, sir.

  27. 02:37

    Anything wrong? Anything wrong, sir?

  28. 02:40

    Mr Thompson ?

    Go Go to sleep, love. to sleep, love. I'll keep watch.

  29. 02:56

    Mrs Thompson ?

    I can't go to sleep. I'm too scared.

  30. 02:58

    Go, Cut, go. That That was horrendous. Well, at least we got our money back.

  31. 03:24

    Farley, sugar. Ah!