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Negrodamus
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
Dave Chappelle tells the studio audience that Paul Mooney turned down a return of last season's Ask a Black Dude segment and instead introduced him to the greatest psychic in history. A solemn announcer, over drifting clouds and images of a volcano and a newborn, presents Negrodamus as the man humanity turns to for life's great mysteries. In a feathered velvet hat and satin cape, Negrodamus points to audience members one at a time. A young man asks what mistakes Michael Jackson made, a woman wants to know why President Bush is so sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction, an Italian visitor asks in Italian about Rosie O'Donnell's future, and a woman in a red sweater asks what will happen to Star Jones on The View. Each answer is a deadpan one-line prophecy that turns the question into a pointed jab at its subject, delivered with Mooney's unhurried disdain, before the announcer closes the segment.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Michael Jackson should have been a priest. Then he would've just been transferred.
Because he has the receipt.
Star Jones will have two jobs. First, she'll do The View. Then she'll take her wig off and do the weather.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Paul Mooney, who plays Negrodamus, is credited as the writer of this segment, which co-creator Neal Brennan directed. It was the character's first featured segment, and Negrodamus returned for a second round of prophecies in Season 2, Episode 5.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Himself
You know, last season, I had Paul Mooney on the show do a segment called Ask a Black Dude. And I asked him, I said, Paul, we got to do that again this year. He said, oh, I can't do it, homie. But I'll do you one better. And he put me on to the hottest psychic ever in the history of the world. So please, America, make some noise for Paul Mooney as Necrodomus.
- 00:27
What's the meaning of life? Who is my real father? Why ever find a husband? Am I gonna get sick does God really exist
- 00:33
Speaker 1 ?
for centuries people have turned to one man for the answer to life's great mysteries That man is Neger Thomas
- 00:42
Negrodamus
You sir
- 00:46
Speaker 2 ?
Neger Thomas What mistakes did Michael Jackson make before he got arrested?
- 00:52
Negrodamus
Michael Jackson Should have not been a singer Michael Jackson should have been a priest then he would have just been transferred You, ma'am.
- 01:05
Speaker 3 ?
Nigrodamus, why is President Bush so sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?
- 01:11
Negrodamus
Because he has the receipt. Next question.
- 01:16
Speaker 4 ?
Ciao, buonasera, Nigrodamus. Io sono italiana e tutti ti mandiamo un bacione enorme, tutti gli italiani. Ma volevo sapere, cosa succederà a Rosie O'Donnell?
- 01:29
Negrodamus
rosie o'donnell shall have a sex change she would become a man and marry liza manelli's husband and beat him
- 01:38
Speaker 4 ?
grazie grazie mille grazie
- 01:43
Negrodamus
next
- 01:45
Speaker 5 ?
hi negro damas what will happen to star jones on view
- 01:51
Negrodamus
star jones i'm getting something star jones will have two jobs first she'll do the view then she'll take her wig off and do the weather.
- 02:03
Speaker 1 ?
Thank you, Negrodamus. For centuries, people have turned to one man for the answer to life's great mysteries. That man is Negrodamus.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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