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PopCopy
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Presented as the copy chain's official employee training film, host Ralph Henderson (Dave Chappelle) walks new hires through how things really work at PopCopy. Staff learn to show up late and snap at supervisors, to keep waiting customers stuck through awkward personal stories, and to reject any computer disk as the wrong format before declaring the whole system down. When a customer asks for a manager, any employee should claim the title and get in the customer's face, and a bathroom-upkeep segment shows Tony (Michael Rapaport) dressing up the restroom so no patron will ever return. Ralph closes by reminding recruits that they never have to take abuse from anyone and welcoming them to the PopCopy family.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
If they use Apple, tell them we're PC. If they use PC, tell them we're Apple.
Listen, sister, I gotta go take a shit.
Because fuck them, that's why.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Peter Lauer
Director
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Speaker 1
Official 2002 Pop Copy Employee Training Film with your host, Ralph Henderson.
- 00:10
Ralph Henderson
Hello, I'm Ralph Henderson. And if you're watching this video, that means you've just been hired to work here at Popular Copy. Me and my friends are going to show you the basics of what it's like to work here. You guys ready?
- 00:21
Yeah!
- 00:22
Ralph Henderson
Great. Getting to work. First of all, never show up on time. And if a supervisor happens to ask you where you were your response would sound something like this
- 00:35
Ralph Henderson
Manuel, why were you late?
- 00:36
Manuel
Man, I got here when I could. Shit, you're not my fucking mom.
- 00:44
Ralph Henderson
Perfect. Servicing the line. Occasionally you may get snagged by one of these customer people. Just remember your job is to frustrate them and make them feel unwanted. If you can, wrap up a story that'll make them feel uncomfortable.
- 00:59
Ralph Henderson
for instance
- 01:00
Ralph Henderson
you understand what I'm saying right I mean you know my reputation I mean I don't give a fuck I'll go to Rikers for three or four years just to prove my point I mean I don't play that shit can help you
- 01:09
Ralph Henderson
or
- 01:11
PopCopy Employee
hell yeah I suck toes good afternoon welcome to pop copy can I help you
- 01:18
Ralph Henderson
or
- 01:19
PopCopy Employee
You're just wrong.
- 01:21
Tony
My butt is itching like crazy. And I took a shower. Can I help you?
- 01:28
Ralph Henderson
Computer technology. If a customer has a computer disk, then look at it and tell them it's the wrong format. If they use Apple, tell them we're PC. If they use PC, tell them we're Apple. And if they got both, then tell them we use Linux. And if they got that, tell them the computers are down. They should be anyhow.
- 01:45
Tony
You see, the whole system actually went down. It's gonna be shut down for a couple hours.
- 01:51
Speaker 2
Hours? The system?
- 01:52
Tony
It happens.
- 01:53
Speaker 2
The whole system? But this is a big place. How can your sister go down?
- 01:56
Tony
Listen, sister, I gotta go take a shit.
- 02:00
Ralph Henderson
The management. Should a customer get all uppity and ask to speak to a manager, then tell him, guess what? I am the manager.
- 02:08
Speaker 3
I wanna see the manager.
- 02:09
Ralph Henderson
Yeah, no, see, I am the manager.
- 02:11
Speaker 3
You as a manager?
- 02:12
Ralph Henderson
That's right, my friend. I'm the only manager here. Unless you wanna talk to the pop-copy president. And I don't know him. You might can help me out with that.
- 02:18
Ralph Henderson
I mean really get in their face about it.
- 02:21
Speaker 3
I want to see your manager
- 02:24
Ralph Henderson
I am your manager. What's up?
- 02:26
Speaker 3
You're the manager.
- 02:27
Ralph Henderson
That's right.
- 02:27
How are you you done? That's it. Your job is done nigga. Get out
- 02:31
Ralph Henderson
You know a lot of people ask why why treat the customer this way why cuz fuck them that's why why
- 02:41
Ralph Henderson
bathroom upkeep bathroom upkeep is important to us here at pop cover be sure to spray chocolate sauce on the wall near the toilet to give the appearance of errant feces this will ensure that any customer who uses our restroom will never ever return to one of our stores we ask that you sign a sheet to verify this gets done once an hour 24 times a day
- 03:03
Ralph Henderson
Oh Tony you missed a spot
- 03:07
Ralph Henderson
well now Now that looks poopy.
- 03:11
Ralph Henderson
I hope you found this tape informative. And should you ever doubt yourself and consider treating a customer with respect, just remember this. You graduated from grade school and you don't have to take shit from anyone. Welcome to the Pop Copy family and congratulations.
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