Psychiatrists

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00
   

   Doctor Windrush

   So, I think it would be useful if we started by your telling me something about your state of mind at the moment. How would you describe it? Would you say you were happy or depressed? Confident or unsure of yourself? What words would you use to describe your mood, would you say? Take your time.

2. 00:19
   

   Mr Johanssen

   Fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. Your problem seems to centre around the delusion that you are a psychiatrist. And that everyone you speak to is a patient of some sort. This is a rare but not unheard of syndrome.

3. 00:32
   

   Doctor Windrush

   Hmm. Hmm. I think perhaps it'd be helpful now if we talked a little bit about your mother. What are your feelings towards your mother?

4. 00:39
   

   Mr Johanssen

   Extraordinary, really. Very intriguing. Now, why mother?

5. 00:41
   

   Doctor Windrush

   Was your mother affectionate towards you when you were small?

6. 00:45
   

   Mr Johanssen

   Affection? Affection? That's interesting. I wonder why you chose that word particularly.

7. 00:50
   

   Doctor Windrush

   I think it would be helpful if you told me at this point, if you can remember, whether or not you were breastfed as an infant.

8. 00:57
   

   Mr Johanssen

   Already, you see, we're focusing in on breasts. Good, good.

9. 01:00
   

   Doctor Windrush

   now how do you feel about breasts now do they do they frighten you because again this is quite common

10. 01:05
    

    Mr Johanssen

    breasts and fear now that is very interesting breasts and fear fascinating association

11. 01:11
    

    Doctor Windrush

    where do you think your father fits into that association

12. 01:13
    

    Mr Johanssen

    right absolutely classic father father

13. 01:17
    

    Doctor Windrush

    all right so let's imagine a line shall we we have fear at one end breasts at the other now where would you place your father on that line

14. 01:25
    

    Mr Johanssen

    lines lines now that is that is interesting like I may ask you to draw those lines in a minute in something we call a a bender gestalt test which can be very appealing but

15. 01:35
    

    Mr Johanssen

    lines let's explore those for a moment they're very penetrative aren't they very very thrusting very male very masculine they urge onwards don't they

16. 01:43
    

    Doctor Windrush

    right so now at last the layers are beginning to unpeel this is very important so we have we have breasts we have fear we have male thrusting penetrative urging

17. 01:54
    

    Mr Johanssen

    some sort of psychiatric jargon you picked up from the reader's digest

18. 01:58
    

    Mr Johanssen

    how often would you say you masturbated

19. 02:02
    

    Doctor Windrush

    no i'm going to be really quite firm now all right i'm the doctor you are the patient

20. 02:08
    

    Mr Johanssen

    yes that's right

21. 02:10
    

    Doctor Windrush

    now i'm sorry i want to hear you say it i want to hear you say i am the patient

22. 02:14
    

    Mr Johanssen

    what was that

23. 02:15
    

    Doctor Windrush

    i am the patient

24. 02:17
    

    Mr Johanssen

    good good that's a breakthrough now that you can can say that we can proceed excellent

25. 02:23
    

    Doctor Windrush

    you are the patient

26. 02:26
    

    Mr Johanssen

    I am

27. 02:27
    

    Doctor Windrush

    you are

28. 02:28
    

    Mr Johanssen

    perhaps we're all patients

29. 02:29
    

    Doctor Windrush

    no I am NOT a patient

30. 02:31
    

    Mr Johanssen

    now now please remain calm mr. Windrush

31. 02:34
    

    Doctor Windrush

    dr. Windrush now you realize that I only have to lift this phone you will be restrained

32. 02:38
    

    Doctor Windrush

    now look I can't help you unless you stop playing this ridiculous ridiculous game.

33. 02:52
    

    Mr Johanssen

    Extraordinary. I don't think I've ever come across a more deeply embedded illusion.

34. 02:55
    

    Doctor Windrush

    It is not an illusion.

35. 02:56
    

    Mr Johanssen

    Your last doctor tried you on a course of lentisol, I believe. Did you find that helped at all?

36. 03:01
    

    Doctor Windrush

    All right, let's go right back to the beginning, shall we? If you are, as you think, a doctor.

37. 03:07
    

    Mr Johanssen

    Well, I'm sorry, that's the full hour, Mr Windrush. Should we say same time next week?

38. 03:11
    

    Doctor Windrush

    Uh, yes, I think I can fit you in same time next week.

39. 03:14
    

    Mr Johanssen

    Perhaps for the next session you could bring some photographs of your parents. That might be useful.

40. 03:18
    

    Doctor Windrush

    Yes, I think I might try you on a course of hypnosis next time and uh if you'll just uh confirm that appointment with rebecca on the way out thank you

41. 03:24
    

    Mrs Meddlicott

    you're both here well i think i'm seeing you first mr windrush would you mind waiting outside mr johansson you're a little bit early rebecca two teeth please

42. 03:41
    

    Mr Johanssen

    extraordinary Broad so deep-seated simply fascinating

43. 03:48
    

    Doctor Windrush

    Well, that was...

44. 03:49
    

    Mrs Meddlicott

    Please stay for a seat. I'll finish my session with him.