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Cinco Food Tube
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Kent and Rudy trade compliments with each other and their dates over dinner at a fancy restaurant, while Kent insists he has recovered from a small incident at home earlier that day. When the food arrives and Rudy picks up his fork, Kent's eyes start to bleed and he shrieks that the utensil is far too dangerous. His solution is the Cinco Food Tube, explained in an infomercial: the customer's teeth are pulled, a tube is fed down the throat and trimmed to reach the stomach, a hole is drilled through the restaurant table, and Cinco technicians blend the meal with softening cream before pumping it through. Kent shows off his dentures and finishes his plate in seconds, and an impressed Rudy announces that he wants to become a Food Tuber too.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
The fork! It's too dangerous!
These are dentures. Didn't hurt a bit when they pulled my teeth out.
I want to be a Food Tuber, too.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Tim Heidecker
Director
Eric Wareheim
Director
Tim Heidecker
Writer
Jonathan Krisel
Writer
Doug Lussenhop
Writer
Jon Mugar
Writer
Eric Wareheim
Writer
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Originally broadcast in the Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! Chrimbus Special on December 5, 2010, rather than in a numbered episode. Kent and Rudy had earlier fronted Cinco's Eye Tanning System advertisement in the Season 3 episode "C.O.R.B.S."
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Rudy
I hear the food here is supposed to be wonderful.
- 00:04
Kent
I'm looking forward to it.
- 00:06
Rudy
I'm glad we're finally able to have this double date.
- 00:09
Rudy
Kent, you were really right about how beautiful Susan is.
- 00:12
Kent
You betcha, Rudy. Susan, you have that ray of sunshine to you on a bright, bright blue sunny day.
- 00:20
Rudy
That's for sure. And you're looking pretty good, too, Kent.
- 00:22
Kent
Rudy, you're looking handsome yourself.
- 00:30
Rudy
You're incidental.
- 00:32
Kent
Oh. Oh, there was a small incident at my house earlier. but But I recovered from it.
- 00:39
Speaker 1
He did just great now. He's doing fine.
- 00:44
Kent
Mimi wants some chicken.
- 00:45
Rudy
Here comes the food.
- 00:46
Kent
Oh, right on time.
- 00:50
Rudy
Me so hungry.
- 00:52
Kent
Bon appetit.
- 00:58
What's the matter?
- 01:14
Rudy
What's the matter, Kent?
- 01:15
Kent
The fork. It's too dangerous. You're going to poke yourself with that thing.
- 01:18
Rudy
Well, how else am I going to eat my food?
- 01:21
Kent
Simple. Use a Cinco food tube.
- 01:23
Cinco food tube. The new and easy way to eat restaurant food.
- 01:26
Kent
It's easy. First, your teeth are removed to make way for the form-fitting tube. You don't want your pearly whites getting in the way of the tube.
- 01:32
Rudy
Hold on a second, Kent. You've got a beautiful set of chompers in your mouth. Wonderful pearls.
- 01:38
Kent
These are dentures. Didn't hurt a bit when they pulled my teeth out.
- 01:43
Kent
Then the tube is fitted into your mouth and throat. they They have to cut it to size so that it reaches right into your stomach.
- 01:54
Rudy
Ah, right on time.
- 01:56
Kent
Now, your table is holed to make way for the tube and the food processing chamber. Make sure the holes are all lined up. Now the food is placed in the food processing chamber where it is mixed with the softening cream. The food processing chamber has a high-speed blender built in.
- 02:14
Rudy
Sounds like the softening cream has a partner in crime, huh?
- 02:17
Kent
You said it, Rudy.
- 02:18
Kent
Next, you gotta numb them gums with Novocaine or you're gonna feel that harsh tube against your gums. Now all you have to do is slink that food tube into your mouth.
- 02:39
Kent
See? I'm already finished with my meal.
- 02:41
Rudy
Wow, what a great tube. It sounds like the plan for me.
- 02:44
Kent
Mimi, I'm a tube man.
- 02:46
Rudy
I wanna be a food tuber too.
- 02:47
Kent
Well, you can with a single food tube system.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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