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Cinco Boy
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A priest's eulogy for a young boy drifts into wishing death had taken someone older instead, and while the mourners sit in stunned silence, Gorb (Peter Stormare) settles in beside the boy's mother. Introducing himself as a representative of Cinco, the company behind the My New Pep-Pep, he offers her the Cinco Boy, a lifelike synthetic child to take her son's place. The commercial cuts to bright lifestyle shots of the stiff, doll-like boy and to Gorb at the mother's kitchen table, explaining that each Cinco Boy is periodically swapped for an older model delivered to the door so the family can keep owning one for life, before ending on the boxed product with its accessories sold separately.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Why couldn't he have taken someone older, like a man I know named Greg Pitterman?
What if I told you that you could have your son back?
As years go by, your Cinco Boy will be replaced with older Cinco Boys.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Tim Heidecker
Director
Jonathan Krisel
Director
Eric Wareheim
Director
Eric Fensler
Writer
Tim Heidecker
Writer
Jonathan Krisel
Writer
Eric Wareheim
Writer
Doug Lussenhop
Writer
Jon Mugar
Writer
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Before the season aired, Eric Wareheim described Cinco Boy to The A.V. Club as a deliberately dark commercial about an artificial boy who is replaced with taller dolls as he "grows." A short Cinco Boy reprise runs later in the same episode.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Priest
When God claims the life of a child, immediately we turn to our loved ones. Husbands, wives, parents, pep-peps, step-peppers, and we ask why. Why was someone with so much promise stolen from us? Why couldn't he have taken someone older, like a man I know named Greg Pitterman?
- 00:23
Gorb
Have you lost your son?
- 00:25
Mourning Mother
He was so young.
- 00:27
Gorb
What if I told you that you could have your son back?
- 00:32
Mourning Mother
What? Who are you?
- 00:34
Gorb
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Gorb. And I'm here to introduce the Cinco Boy from Cinco. You know, from the makers of my new pep-pep.
- 00:47
Sinkable.
- 00:51
Gorb
Cinco Boy is almost identical to your original son.
- 00:57
Only difference is, as He's better
- 01:04
Gorb
As years go by, your Cinco Boy will be replaced with older Cinco Boys, and you can continue owning your Cinco Boy for as long as you live.
- 01:13
Gorb
wouldn't that be nice?
- 01:20
Cinco Boy from Cinco.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
