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Jaws

The Whitest Kids U'Know2010Season 4Episode 1
The Whitest Kids U'KnowWKUK
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A seaside town debates its mysterious attacker while an old sailor tries to command the room.

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Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

At a chaotic town meeting, frightened residents blame a bear for attacks in the ocean. A weathered sailor named Flynn offers a more plausible explanation and launches into a grim naval story. His attempt to dominate the meeting loses out to an unexpectedly distracting sight among the audience.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

It's not a bear.

ScriptEnglish · 14 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:06

    Meeting chair

    People, settle down. Settle down. We will be keeping the beaches closed until further notice.

  2. 00:15

    Speaker 1 ?

    Is it true that there's a bear in the ocean?

  3. 00:17

    Speaker 2 ?

    Is that what ate the Henderson's kid?

  4. 00:19

    Meeting chair

    We're trying to get to the bottom of what has been attacking our community.

  5. 00:23

    Speaker 3 ?

    It's a bear!

  6. 00:24

    Speaker 4 ?

    It's a bear!

  7. 00:27

    Meeting chair

    People, settle down. Settle down.

  8. 00:30

    Sailor Flynn

    It's not a bear.

  9. 00:32

    Meeting chair ?

    Who are you?

  10. 00:41

    Sailor Flynn

    Name's Flynn. I was on the USS South Dakota.

  11. 00:45

    Meeting chair

    You were in the Dakota?

  12. 00:49

    Sailor Flynn

    1949. We'd just delivered the A-bomb to be used on Hiroshima, China. On our way back, we got tagged by a Kraut U-boat. Whole ship was in the water in less than 35 minutes' flight. Temperature, seven below. We tied some life vests together, formed groups of four each, and were just out there. It wasn't two or three minutes past before I heard the first screams. Mako shark, 12 feet long. That's the distance between the dorsal fin to the tail. Every minute or so, you'd hear some screaming. See, the thing about a shark is that when it rolls up on you, it feels like it's not even alive. life. Shark takes life, but he ain't got no life in him. Shark is nothing but death. That's what you got there. That's what Shark. Right, guys?

  13. 02:17

    Townsperson ?

    I'm sorry. What did you say?

  14. 02:19

    Meeting chair ?

    Sorry, what was that?

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

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