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Dr. Kyle
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
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The premise
Here’s the bit.
In a hospital corridor, Dr. Lewis confides in a colleague that an eight-year-old patient he has treated since birth, already a survivor of childhood leukemia, has contracted AIDS from a contaminated transfusion during lung surgery, and that he can't bring himself to tell the boy and his parents. The colleague suggests calling Dr. Kyle, a doctor famous for not caring, who cheerfully volunteers. When Lewis pleads with him to find a gentler way to break the news, Kyle seems to agree, then leans into the family's room, blurts out the diagnosis in a single breath, tosses the boy a peppermint and leaves.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 5
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Just gonna go in and say, "You got AIDS, kid," then bounce.
Yeah, AIDS sucks.
Hey, tough break, kid. You got AIDS. Here's a peppermint.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Aired in the second episode of the fourth season on IFC (June 18, 2010), an episode directed by troupe members Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:03
Doctor
Dr. Lewis, how's it going today?
- 00:06
Dr. Lewis
I've been better.
- 00:08
Doctor
Why, what's wrong?
- 00:10
Dr. Lewis
You ever get one of those patients that you're really rooting for, and then things just kind of go south?
- 00:16
Doctor
Worst part of the job, man.
- 00:18
Dr. Lewis
I got this kid, right, eight years old. I've been his pediatrician since day one, and, uh, you know, he's a tough kid. He gets leukemia at age four. He fights through it. He bounces back. Tough kid, right? Then last year, he gets a lung infection. They gotta go in, operate. While they're doing it, he needs a blood transfusion. They give it to him. Turns out the batch is contaminated. I just found out today this kid's got AIDS.
- 00:42
Doctor
He's got children's AIDS?
- 00:45
Dr. Lewis
No, he's got, like, he's got regular grown-up AIDS. He's got AIDS-AIDS. He's got AIDS.
- 00:50
Doctor
Oh, oh.
- 00:51
Dr. Lewis
Anyway, so I have to walk in there, look him in the eye, look at his parents, and tell him this. I don't know if I can do this.
- 00:59
Doctor
Well, call Dr. Kyle.
- 01:00
Dr. Lewis
Dr. Kyle?
- 01:01
Doctor
Yeah, Kyle don't give a .
- 01:04
Dr. Lewis ?
Really?
- 01:05
Doctor
Dr. Kyle! Yeah, Dr. Kyle told your kid he's got AIDS. He does that kind of all the time. He doesn't care.
- 01:10
Dr. Kyle
Yeah, what?
- 01:11
Doctor
Oh, yeah, Lewis has got a kid in there with AIDS, and, uh, you don't want to tell him.
- 01:15
Dr. Kyle
Oh, I'll tell him. Where is he?
- 01:16
Dr. Lewis ?
He's in 2B.
- 01:17
Dr. Lewis
Oh, well, hey, uh, hey! haha, um, how Um, how are you gonna break it to him?
- 01:25
Dr. Kyle
What do you mean, break it to him?
- 01:26
Dr. Lewis
I mean, how are you gonna tell him?
- 01:27
Dr. Kyle
I'm just gonna go in and say, you got AIDS, kid, then bounce.
- 01:30
Dr. Lewis
Uh, excuse me, excuse me. Um, you know, that's gonna be... It's gonna be devastating to that kid and his family.
- 01:37
Dr. Kyle
Yeah, AIDS sucks.
- 01:39
Dr. Lewis
Okay, right, but, I mean, do you think maybe there's a way we could soften the blow for him?
- 01:46
Dr. Kyle ?
Okay.
- 01:46
Dr. Lewis ?
Yeah?
- 01:47
Dr. Kyle
I got you.
- 01:47
Dr. Lewis
What are you gonna...
- 01:48
Dr. Kyle ?
Hey,
- 01:49
Dr. Kyle
Hey, tough break, kid. You got AIDS. Here's a peppermint.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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