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The God Says Song

The Whitest Kids U'Know 2009 Season 3 Episode 2

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A man with a guitar looks back on a lifetime of divine instructions, each one more compulsive and inconvenient than the last, and turns the whole thing into a rousing gospel number.

Watch on YouTube

Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Trevor strums a lullaby-style ballad about kneeling by his bed as a boy and hearing God answer his prayers. The answers turn out to be bizarre rituals backed by dire threats, starting with hand washing and escalating through stoves, sneezes and a stash of jars in his kitchen. Cartoon storybook backdrops, a bedridden grandfather and a full church choir join in as the song swells, until the singer admits he hopes none of it is true and that the one command he is breaking is the order not to sing about it.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 1

Trevor Moore

Singer

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Nobody understands when God says wash your hands.

I hope that it's all wrong, because God said don't sing this song.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Part of the episode that first aired on February 3, 2009, alongside the Little Rascals and Call of Duty sketches.

ScriptEnglish · 1 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:01
Singer
When I was just a child, before I would turn out the light, I'd kneel beside my bed and say my prayers every night. Ask God to keep me safe and keep everything all right. Then I'd be real still and quiet until I could hear his reply. lie. And God said, wash your hands or your family will die. And grandpa will get cancer if you don't touch the stove three times. Your dog will run away if you ever tell a lie. Nobody understands When God says wash your hands When God says wash your hands God says wash your hands Now Now as the years went by God stood by me through the thin and thick Though it seems that with his age The good Lord's gone a tad eccentric Why I need to save my pee I don't understand the lick But it's better, I bet, than to live with regret So I guess I'd better do it As God said, stay inside Or get flesh-eating disease I'll totally make some kid re- If you don't throw salt when you sneeze And you'll never get to heaven Unless you kill Bill Bellamy me. Nobody understands when God says wash your hands. Nobody understands when God says wash your hands. And I hope that it's all wrong, because God said don't sing this song. And I hope that it's all wrong, because God said don't sing this song.