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Genie
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Billy digs a lamp out of a yard-sale pile and releases a rhyming genie he promptly rejects, then a swaggering spoof genie and a bespectacled one before one finally sticks. The reluctant genie lays out the rules, and Billy immediately spends his three wishes on a murder, an unwanted romance and a run for the presidency. The genie is pulled along as an unwilling accomplice, and a quick montage of campaign pitches shows how far the wishes carry Billy, leaving the genie to deal with the fallout.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 6
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Wow, a rhyming magic genie.
I want my teacher dead.
Kid, that's going to take a long time. I mean, we're going to have to start all grassroots, and kids aren't even eligible.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Sam Brown
Writer
Zach Cregger
Writer
Darren Trumeter
Writer
Timmy Williams
Writer
Trevor Moore
Director
Zach Cregger
Director
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Billy Masterson
I got to find some stuff for the yard sale. Oh my god, a lamp.
- 00:12
Rhyming Genie
At last, I'm free from the lamp's confines. I was in that thing for quite a long time.
- 00:20
Billy Masterson
Wow, a rhyming magic genie.
- 00:23
Rhyming Genie
No, actually, that was just a mistake. But now you have three wishes to make.
- 00:29
Billy Masterson
Wow, you rhymed again.
- 00:31
Rhyming Genie
Oh, I did, didn't I? but I assure you that was just an accident oh me oh my
- 00:38
Billy Masterson
you totally did that on purpose
- 00:40
Rhyming Genie
no I didn't
- 00:41
Rhyming Genie
no I didn't
- 00:45
Billy Masterson
this I'm get another genie that
- 00:50
Austin Powers Genie
Yeah, baby. Yeah,
- 00:51
Billy Masterson
that is so outdated
- 00:54
Austin Powers Genie
wait a minute somebody took my idea for a movie
- 00:57
Billy Masterson
you mean Austin Powers
- 00:58
Austin Powers Genie
Austin Powers that was my idea
- 01:01
Billy Masterson
this I'm getting another genie
- 01:02
Austin Powers Genie
mini me Dr. Evil, did they do that stuff?
- 01:06
Darren (Genie)
Hey kid, I'm Darren, your genie.
- 01:09
Billy Masterson
Eh, now Now we're talking.
- 01:17
Sam Brown
Hello, kid.
- 01:19
Billy Masterson
Hello, jeans. Hello, genie.
- 01:22
Billy Masterson
So I get three wishes, right?
- 01:24
Sam Brown
That's right. You're the lucky recipient of three magic wishes. These wishes may drastically change your life. So think long and hard about what you really want and what may improve your existence and then make your choice.
- 01:40
Billy Masterson
I want my teacher dead. DEAD!
- 01:45
Sam Brown
Look, I want you to know I really don't feel comfortable doing this.
- 01:50
Billy Masterson
I don't give a flying f***. Shoot.
- 01:52
Sam Brown
Never even used one of these before.
- 01:54
Billy Masterson
It's easy. That's the business end. Point it at the target and go to work.
- 01:59
Sam Brown
But it'll make her die.
- 02:01
Billy Masterson
And that's my wish. Now do it.
- 02:04
Sam Brown
Okay. Okay. Hey. You can do this. You can do this. You're a f***ing genie, for Christ's sake.
- 02:15
Sam Brown
Did we get her?
- 02:19
Billy Masterson
Oh, you f***ing got her. Now about my second wish. I want to have sex with Megan Weldley.
- 02:29
Sam Brown
Who's that?
- 02:30
Billy Masterson
She's the hottest girl in school. She's a senior.
- 02:33
Sam Brown
Kid, I don't know.
- 02:34
Billy Masterson
You're a genie. You have to make it happen. That's the rule.
- 02:38
Sam Brown
Hi.
- 02:40
Megan Weldley
Hi. What do you want?
- 02:43
Sam Brown
Well I don't know if you've noticed any of the freshmen this year or anything but I have this friend who's he's really cool and he thinks you're really pretty.
- 02:54
Megan Weldley
It's just some smurf!
- 02:57
Sam Brown
Actually I'm a genie.
- 03:00
Sam Brown
Kid! Kid get in the talks didn't go so well.
- 03:06
Billy Masterson
So about my third wish.
- 03:09
Sam Brown
What could you possibly want What do you want now?
- 03:12
Billy Masterson
I want to be President of the United States of America.
- 03:17
Sam Brown
Kid. Kid, that's going to take a long time. I mean, we're going to have to start all grassroots, and kids aren't even eligible. Plus, it's going to be tough since you just raped that woman.
- 03:30
Billy Masterson
Or maybe I could wish that there were no more genies.
- 03:34
Sam Brown
No, no, no, I'll do it. Psycho.
- 03:43
Sam Brown
Hi, my name is Genie Simmons, Simmons, and I'm here to talk to you about Proposition 26-2A, which if voted for, would enable children to run for president, and I just would like to...
- 03:52
Sam Brown
Hi, I'd like to talk to you about electing Billy Masterson to city council. Hi, I'd like to talk to you about Councilman Billy Masterson's campaign for mayor. Hi, I'd like to talk to you about our adorable child senator, Billy Masterson. Well, he's decided to take a run for the Oval Office.
- 04:13
Speaker 1
Our pollsters in Virginia say it is going 49 to 51 there in favor of the governor of Alaska Ladies and gentlemen, we've just received word with 63% of our precincts reporting in we are calling it for Billy
- 04:26
Sam Brown
Well kid, guess this is goodbye.
- 04:36
Billy Masterson
We've had some times haven't we genie
- 04:39
Sam Brown
Yeah,
- 04:39
Billy Masterson
my bitch teachers dead. I got some sweet and now I'm the leader of the free world
- 04:45
Sam Brown
I picked up smoking. My doctor says I have an ulcer.
- 04:49
Billy Masterson
Ha! Yeah!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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