Line Leader

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors.

1. 00:00

   Guys, from the audience, can we just get three guys to come up?

2. 00:02

   We won't fuck with you. Yeah, one, two, three. There you go, you guys.

3. 00:04

   Just come up and line up here.

4. 00:08

   And, uh, just try not to fuck anything up.

5. 00:12

   Cool, between them is good.

6. 00:14

   Okay, cool, do the lights down, lights up, and then we'll start this thing.

7. 00:20

   Okay, it is 12.30, so it is time for recess.

8. 00:23

   And today is Tuesday, so Ryan, you are the line leader.

9. 00:26

   Let's line up and head outside now.

10. 00:28

    Alright,

11. 00:29

    all right

12. 00:33

    men!

13. 00:35

    Listen up!

14. 00:36

    I lead you today not for selfish purpose or personal gain but because I've been

15. 00:43

    ordained by a power greater than I we have been promised a time and a place

16. 00:50

    our time is now that place the quad hey Ryan is no longer the line leader Caleb

17. 00:58

    is the new line leader let's head up and go as we step off these cold cavernous

18. 01:02

    Tiled floors of academia

19. 01:03

    And on to the warm grass of recess

20. 01:07

    We shall rest well

21. 01:08

    Knowing we have proven our worth

22. 01:10

    Caleb, true of heart and thought

23. 01:12

    Yes, line leader

24. 01:13

    What the fuck is this?

25. 01:15

    Caleb, you've proven yourself

26. 01:17

    To be a most worthy companion

27. 01:19

    Wise beyond your years

28. 01:21

    Reading at an eighth grade level

29. 01:22

    And I ask of you

30. 01:24

    As we journey onward

31. 01:25

    Make certain that no student

32. 01:26

    Is to fall to the wayside

33. 01:28

    And be left behind

34. 01:29

    That as we pass through

35. 01:31

    every door closed every light darkened caleb this is your charge the charge of the caboose

36. 01:38

    okay every second that we spend here we don't spend outside i want all you kids to know that

37. 01:43

    we go upon my mark man very good two three yes marching outside now very good

38. 01:51

    a little bit faster please a little bit faster ryan

39. 01:58

    why why brian caleb what do you elven eyes see fifth graders a whole slew of them what should

40. 02:07

    we do stand your ground men

41. 02:11

    you guys there it is i derrick of the fifth

42. 02:18

    derrick of the fifth what brings you to the corridors of mathematics

43. 02:21

    i lead my men to the great luncheon hall where they have been promised a feast

44. 02:26

    so that they may sup and be nourished.

45. 02:29

    I lead my men to the quad for recess.

46. 02:32

    I ask of you and your men that you stand down

47. 02:34

    so that we may pass.

48. 02:37

    I answer not to man, but only to the voice

49. 02:39

    of the one true teacher, Miss Haggerty.

50. 02:43

    Then you do not yield.

51. 02:45

    Nay.

52. 02:47

    Then we must do battle.

53. 02:50

    All right, men.

54. 02:51

    Whoa, Ryan.

55. 02:52

    It's enough.

56. 02:52

    On my mark.

57. 02:53

    You have answered this line, mere children.

58. 02:55

    No

59. 02:56

    No, I charge in no way

60. 03:06

    Do not fight them

61. 03:23

    Holds.

62. 03:24

    Holds.

63. 03:25

    Holds.

64. 03:26

    Please, no, Ryan, don't do this.

65. 03:28

    Ready?

66. 03:28

    No.

67. 03:29

    No.

68. 03:36

    Oh, my God.

69. 03:46

    You're all proud.

70. 03:48

    Jesus.

71. 03:49

    Look at what men do to each other.

72. 03:51

    And for what, I ask?

73. 03:54

    I've seen horrors worse than that conjured up by the mind of R.L. Stine himself.

74. 04:00

    Why, God, why, Mrs. Logan, have you chosen me for such a forsaken path?

75. 04:05

    Yeah, I didn't choose you, Ryan.

76. 04:06

    Now you're going to the office.

77. 04:07

    Why have you turned your back on your loyal people?

78. 04:12

    I have reached recess, but at what cost?

79. 04:17

    No, no, no, Ryan, no, oh my God.