Pretty Girl Curse

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:02
   

   Kiri ?

   Guys, it's getting dark. Maybe we should leave and call for help.

2. 00:06
   

   Tori ?

   I've got a really bad feeling.

3. 00:07

   What do you mean?

4. 00:08
   

   Tori

   I mean, look at us. We're in a spooky forest, it's getting dark, and our friend is missing. This is a horror movie. We're in a horror movie situation.

5. 00:16

   Wait, are you saying that Alita might be...

6. 00:18
   

   Kiri ?

   No, she must have just gotten lost.

7. 00:21
   

   Tori

   Carrie, Alita is gone, and we're probably next. I'm probably next. I know what I have to do. Hey! In horror movies, the killer always goes after the prettiest girl first, okay? If I want to survive this, I have got to be normally looking.

8. 00:38
   

   Kiri ?

   Wait, that's not a horror movie thing.

9. 00:41
   

   Tori

   How do I look? Do I look normal like you guys?

10. 00:46
    

    Gabby ?

    Actually, the glasses kind of suit you.

11. 00:48
    

    Tori

    Oh, I knew it. I'm too hot.

12. 01:00
    

    Kiri ?

    You're not going to die. And can we please focus on finding Alita?

13. 01:04

    Yeah.

14. 01:09
    

    Tori

    Dadoy the killer, who always sneaks up behind the prettiest girl when she's not looking. Don't kill me. They're prettier.

15. 01:17
    

    Gabby ?

    Oh, now we're prettier.

16. 01:21
    

    Tori

    Leveling the playing field.

17. 01:22
    

    Gabby ?

    Oh my goodness. Oh, crap.

18. 01:25
    

    Tori

    Okay, tell me, how does it look?

19. 01:28
    

    Gabby ?

    Actually better.

20. 01:29
    

    Tori

    Oh, I knew it!

21. 01:32
    

    Kiri ?

    Okay, can I just say, I think we're all pretty.

22. 01:35
    

    Tori

    Yeah, you can say that. You can say whatever you want. It does not make it true. How I envy you approachable girl-next-door types destined to survive. Meanwhile, I am the hottest cadaver in the morgue. I'm such a beautiful dead girl.

23. 01:57
    

    Kiri ?

    Okay, okay. If this is true, wouldn't that make Alita the hottest girl? Since she's the one that's nowhere to be found.

24. 02:03
    

    Tori

    You think Alita's dead?

25. 02:04

    She could be.

26. 02:05
    

    Tori

    In that heinous blouse she was wearing? No, trust me, she is fine.

27. 02:10
    

    Aleta ?

    Help! Help!

28. 02:12

    Alita! He's got her!

29. 02:13
    

    Tori

    I'm running out of time, but quick, tell me the prettiest thing about me and I will fix it. Is it my adorable nose, my infectious smile, MY ADORABLE NOSE!

30. 02:22
    

    Aleta ?

    Guys, where are you?

31. 02:23

    We're over here!

32. 02:24
    

    Tori

    Wait, ah, Gabby, a twist! There's always a twist in horror movies discovered by the prettiest and smartest girl. Still me.

33. 02:30
    

    Gabby ?

    Okay, that's not a thing!

34. 02:32
    

    Gabby ?

    Also, smartest, you copy my math homework.

35. 02:34

    Every day.

36. 02:35

    Math.

37. 02:36
    

    Tori

    That's it. Okay, if I'm the prettiest and the killer is X, 2 plus 2 equals 5, carry the zero. Oh, Alita's the killer! Gabby,

38. 02:46
    

    Gabby ?

    she's right behind me, isn't she?

39. 02:48
    

    Aleta

    What are you talking about?

40. 02:50

    Well, thank goodness you're safe. Alita, what the heck, you scared us.

41. 02:53
    

    Tori

    Yeah, you almost made us think Gabby was the pretty one, which... No, it's me, right?

42. 02:58
    

    Aleta

    What? No, listen, when I was out there, I saw someone. Come out! Woo!

43. 03:05

    Oh, oh, wait, sorry, I'm so sorry. Could you step into the light really quick and pull your mask down?

44. 03:11

    Hello! You're looking good.

45. 03:21

    Okay, yeah, he's definitely the pretty one. Yeah.

46. 03:24
    

    Tori

    Wait, what, no, no, he's not. No, you're not, you're not the pretty one, you're not the pretty one.

47. 03:29
    

    Tori ?

    You, yes, you, come here, come here. You, very pretty, nice to see you, but it's not safe here. You have to protect yourself and the people that you love. And the way that you can do that is not by putting yourself in a bunker in the middle of the ground or eating only ramen for the rest of your life forever. No, it is subscribing to this channel. Oh, your mom's in danger? Like this sketch. She is saved! This dog over here? It's about to get eaten by things that eat dogs? Oh no! Thank you, dog! You saved it! By sharing the sketch! Great work! You're a hero! Go forth! Go forth, comedy!