You're tuned to the good stuff
Alzheimer's
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Sammy sits down next to Grandma while she watches the news and accuses her of leaving a mess on the floor, explaining that she simply can't remember doing it because of her Alzheimer's. Just as she is getting up to clean it, he admits it was the dog, though he insists the diagnosis is real. When a TV report covers an embassy bombing in France, he escalates further, claiming he watched her fly overseas and blow the building up with her mind, then laughs it off again before collecting twenty dollars he says she owes him and leaving her to look around for a tiger. Out in the hallway his friend scolds him for treating his grandmother so badly, and Sammy reveals she isn't his grandmother at all, just a stranger who never locks her door.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Of course you don't remember pooping on the floor. You have Alzheimer's, Grandma.
I'm not finished!
It's not my grandma. It's just some lady that leaves her door open.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
What happened is there was an explosion in a suburb in Paris, a suburb known as Overcompton.
- 00:03
Sammy
Hey, how's it going, Grandma?
- 00:05
Grandma
It's going pretty good here, Sammy Boo.
- 00:07
Sammy
That's good, that's good.
- 00:08
A number of other people say the police were treated for shock.
- 00:11
Sammy
Grandma, did you poop on the floor?
- 00:14
Grandma
What?
- 00:14
Sammy
Grandma, is that your poo on the floor?
- 00:17
Grandma
What is the what?
- 00:18
Sammy
Your poo on the floor. Did you make a poop on the floor, Grandma?
- 00:22
Grandma
I poop in the toilet. Why would I poop on the floor?
- 00:26
Sammy
No, Grandma, you pooed on the floor. Look at it. It's right there.
- 00:30
Grandma
Well, that doesn't look like people pooped in me. That looks like doggy poop.
- 00:34
Sammy
No, it looks like grandma poop on account of the medication.
- 00:37
Grandma
Well, I don't remember pooping on the floor.
- 00:39
Sammy
Yeah, of course you don't remember pooping on the floor. You have Alzheimer's, Grandma.
- 00:44
Grandma
Oh, well, I didn't mean to. I'm sorry.
- 00:47
Sammy
Sorry is not going to clean it up, Grandma. So, chop, chop. Let's get a rag and a mop, all right? Come on.
- 00:52
Grandma
Okay, I'm going. It's just so hard getting off of this couch.
- 00:55
Sammy ?
It's gross. It smells. I don't want to look at it. I'm just fucking with you, Grandma.
- 01:02
Grandma
So I didn't poop on the floor?
- 01:04
Sammy
No, the dog did.
- 01:06
Grandma
And I don't have Alzheimer's?
- 01:08
Sammy
No, you have Alzheimer's, Grandma. That's why you're so wicked gullible all the time. So what are you watching?
- 01:15
Grandma
Oh, the newsman's on.
- 01:16
Sammy
The newsman, huh? What's the newsman have to say?
- 01:19
Grandma
Well, some terrorist blew up some embassy over in France.
- 01:23
The bomb, the car itself is reported to be badly damaged. A number of cars alongside her also reported...
- 01:28
Sammy
Grandma, what did you do?
- 01:30
Grandma
What?
- 01:31
Sammy
You blew up an embassy?
- 01:33
Grandma
No.
- 01:35
Sammy
You killed like 36 people.
- 01:38
Grandma
How would I, Sam?
- 01:39
Sammy
I saw you. I saw you with my eyes. Get up. Get out of your couch. Go over to France. You got undressed, you slut. And then you blew up the embassy. With your mind.
- 01:53
Grandma
Why would I ever do that?
- 01:55
Sammy
I'm not finished! And then you came back here, you got dressed, you pooped on the floor.
- 02:02
Grandma ?
Someone pooped on the floor?
- 02:03
Sammy
You pooped on the floor! You pooped on the floor, Grandma! And then you turned on the TV to watch your deadly deeds unfold.
- 02:11
Grandma
Oh, well, I'm sorry, Sammy.
- 02:14
Sammy
It's okay, just don't think of me, or you'll blow me up with your mind powers, all right?
- 02:19
Grandma ?
No, I'm not!
- 02:20
Sammy ?
Oh, what? I'm I'm just fucking not fucking with you, Grandma! Come on!
- 02:34
Sammy
Do you have that 20 bucks you owe me?
- 02:36
Grandma
I guess so.
- 02:37
Sammy
Here, hand it over. Thank you. Watch out for that tiger.
- 02:43
Grandma
Tiger? Here? In the house? What kind of tiger? Tiger Woods? Golfing?
- 02:51
Sammy ?
It's my
- 02:52
Friend
Dude, you're really mean to your grandmother.
- 02:54
Sammy
It's not my grandma. It's just some lady that leaves her door open.
- 02:58
Friend
Oh, that is cool.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from The Whitest Kids U'Know.
