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The Cinema Porter
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Standing guard outside a picture house in his braided uniform, a commissionaire chats to the audience about his life. Childhood pranks, a first sweetheart who left him in trouble, a disastrous marriage that ended in court and prison, and a string of failed jobs all tumble out, but almost every key word has been swapped for a similar-sounding Hollywood or British screen name. The puns pile up faster as his story turns from romance to crime to his present drinking habit, ending with a grumble about the weather and the birds that plague his post.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 1
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Of course, when I was Robert Young, I was really Cornell Wilde.
She tried to make me marry her, but I said, I'm Dirk Bogarde if I will.
He gave me two years under Roger Moore.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
IMDb's summary of Series 6, Episode 6 describes this as a doorman reminiscing in rhyming slang. Episode guides disagree on when that episode first aired: IMDb gives 26 December 1977, while TheTVDB and TVmaze list 17 December 1977.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from The Two Ronnies.
