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Weekend Update: Mary Anne Louise Fischer on Holiday Shopping

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A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A chaotic holiday shopper shares her extreme and aggressive tips for surviving the retail battlefield during the holidays.

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The premise

Here’s the bit.

Weekend Update segment where Mary Anne Louise Fischer (Ego Nwodim) visits the Update desk with Colin Jost to share her unhinged and frantic holiday shopping tips. Wearing a fake neck brace as part of her intimidation strategy, Mary Anne describes the brutal reality of shopping at discount stores like Ross ("Ross Mess for Less") and Nordstrom Rack, comparing them to war zones. Her aggressive advice includes being willing to physically fight for deals, wearing props like a fake neck brace to intimidate other shoppers and get special treatment, and approaching shopping with manic, frantic energy. She reveals she "sues the city" for a living and has mastered the art of exploiting stores and situations to her advantage. Throughout the segment, she delivers her tips with increasingly chaotic energy, mentioning her "three tours in Nordstrom Iraq" and emphasizing that she needs to shop "fast" and "crazy."

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

What do you do for work? I sue the city.

I just got done doing three tours in Nordstrom Iraq

I need to do it fast…and I need to do it crazy.

Are you alright? No, Michael! I know too much! I've seen too much! It's a war zone out there.

I could slap the hell out of you and nobody would say a word.

Only you know you're neck is strong as hell

Ross Mess for Less

The city has too many uneven sidewalks!

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

This sketch is Cecily Strong's 900th milestone sketch on SNL (she appeared in the cold open). Traditional Weekend Update desk segment with clearly visible faces throughout. Ego Nwodim's character wears business casual attire with a neck brace prop. The sketch was well-received with over 705,000 views on YouTube. Duration: 210 seconds (3 minutes 30 seconds).

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