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New Year's Kiss
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A man arranges to meet Derek and their friends at Lotus Lounge on New Year’s Eve, hoping to kiss Kendra at midnight. Each phone call sends him to another supposedly nearby spot. He pays for VIP access, follows directions into a sewer and finds himself in a white void, where a wolf-like guard demands a secret before allowing him through a portal. By the time he reaches the next bar, the group has returned to Lotus Lounge. Derek persuades him to try again, only to abandon the meeting place for a house party as his exhausted friend arrives.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
You might need a crowbar.
That was very brave of you to share. Happy New Year’s.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
SNL released this as a Cut for Time short on December 18, 2017, after the December 16 Kevin Hart / Foo Fighters episode. Dave Grohl plays the guard at the portal. Prop fabricator Paul J Gagnon identifies the guard’s battle axe among his SNL work.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Derek
New Year's Eve player.
- 00:04
Man looking for his friends
Hell, yeah. Where you guys at?
- 00:06
Derek
We're at the Lotus Lounge on 7th. Big-ass crew. Ashley, Marcus, Adam, Kendra.
- 00:12
Man looking for his friends
Nice, because I'm trying to get that midnight kiss tonight.
- 00:15
Derek
Ha-ha, for sure. Yeah, we got a table at the far end of the bar. Get here now.
- 00:19
Man looking for his friends
All right, dope. See you guys soon. Yo, where's everybody at?
- 00:23
Derek
Oh, snap. Sorry, homie. We just went upstairs to the VIP area. So when you get to the guy at the rope, just tell him you know Raji.
- 00:30
Man looking for his friends
Oh, okay. Who's Raji?
- 00:31
Derek
Oh, no, but you got to slip the bouncer $120.
- 00:35
Man looking for his friends
What? That's a lot of money.
- 00:39
Man looking for his friends
I know, Raji.
- 00:40
Man looking for his friends
Come on, man. Where are you guys?
- 00:48
Derek
Oh, damn. Sorry, bro. I thought you were with us.
- 00:50
Man looking for his friends
No, I'm definitely not with you. Where are you? I'm trying to get that midnight kiss.
- 00:54
Derek
Ha, ha. Hell, yeah. So, yeah, the whole crew went to this underground speakeasy spot.
- 01:00
Man looking for his friends
Okay, great.
- 01:01
Derek
So just walk out the bar. And then you see that bodega across the street?
- 01:07
Man looking for his friends
Uh-huh.
- 01:08
Derek
All right, so don't walk towards that. Instead, look down and lift open that manhole. But not the one right beneath you, the one to the left of it. You might need a crowbar.
- 01:18
Man looking for his friends
How am I supposed to have a crowbar?
- 01:19
Derek
Remember the bodega from earlier? The guy in there has one.
- 01:22
Derek
So, New Year's Eve, player!
- 01:26
Man looking for his friends
Ha-ha!
- 01:37
Derek
All right, are you in the sewer right now?
- 01:39
Man looking for his friends
Yes.
- 01:39
Derek
Cool. So just sprint down like a quarter mile, try to avoid the dirty water, come up to the surface.
- 01:44
Man looking for his friends
Okay.
- 01:45
All
- 01:53
Derek
All right, so now are you in sort of a white void, infinite space area?
- 01:58
Man looking for his friends
Yeah, I think so.
- 01:59
Derek
Perfect. All right, so you see that weird wolf-looking guard guy by that big crystal? Whisper a secret in his ear, like something you never told anybody before, and he should give you permission to enter. And then we're all in here just chillin'.
- 02:13
Man looking for his friends
Okay.
- 02:14
New
- 02:23
Wolf-like guard
That was very brave of you to share. Happy New Year's.
- 02:28
What
- 02:38
Man looking for his friends
What the hell, Derek?
- 02:39
Derek
Oh, damn! Sorry, homie. Hey, that bar was whack. They were just serving potions, so we went back to Lotus Lounge.
- 02:46
Man looking for his friends
Are you serious? I'm just gonna go home, man.
- 02:48
Derek
What? Hey, yo, but Kendra's here. She's been asking about you. Could get that kiss, though.
- 02:57
Man looking for his friends
Ugh, fine. Just promise me you won't leave.
- 03:00
Derek
For sure. Hey, yo Kendra's right over there.
- 03:15
Man looking for his friends
Sorry,
- 03:16
Speaker 1
five, four, three, two, one.
- 03:21
Man looking for his friends
Hello?
- 03:22
Speaker 1
Happy New Year!
- 03:24
Derek
Hey yo, sorry fool. We had a bounce at this house party. Hey, but you should come. Kendra's here.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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