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Weekend Update: Tim Meadows on Kwanzaa
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
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Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Colin Quinn invites Tim Meadows to explain Kwanzaa. Meadows displays a mat, candles, corn and a communal cup before deciding that a song would better convey the holiday’s meaning. Joined by two backing singers, the Kwanzettes, he adopts the persona Kwanzaa Timmy and turns each symbol and principle into another suggestive promise. The singers answer his advances with demands for gifts and a complaint about his past behavior, which he tries to dismiss before proposing a celebration at his place. He extends the invitation to Quinn, whose enthusiastic response leads into their final musical flourish.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
This is Kwanzaa, not Black History Month.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Vanessa Williams was also a musical guest on this episode, performing “Adeste Fideles” with Luciano Pavarotti.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Weekend Update anchor
Well, the holidays are approaching and here to talk about the African-American holiday of Kwanzaa is Tim Meadows
- 00:07
Kwanzaa Timmy
Thank you, buddy. Thank you all thank you very much
- 00:12
Kwanzaa Timmy
Kwanzaa begins on the day after Christmas and ends on New Year's Day
- 00:17
Kwanzaa Timmy
Among the symbols we use to celebrate Kwanzaa are the Makika the mat the Kanara candleholder and and several ears of vibunzi, corn.
- 00:29
Kwanzaa Timmy
And, of course, the kikombi cha'umoja, the communal cup of wine or juice. And in this case, wine.
- 00:38
Kwanzaa Timmy
But perhaps I can best explain the meaning of Kwanzaa through song with the help of the Kwanzettes.
- 00:47
Kwanzaa Timmy
Alright. This is for the ladies.
- 00:49
Kwanzaa Timmy
Santa Claus is coming, gone, but don't be sad and blue Cause Kwanzaa Timmy's coming, and soon you'll be coming too
- 01:04
Kwanzaa Timmy
Heard that fat old bearded a dude, he's living in the past He only knows who's bad or good, but I know who's been nasty
- 01:19
Speaker 1
I Kwasa, tell me what you're gonna give me
- 01:23
Kwanzaa Timmy
I brought you lots of gifts, girl
- 01:26
-♪
- 01:27
Speaker 1
Come on, Kwanzaa, tend me, promise you're gonna give me
- 01:30
Kwanzaa Timmy
I to rock your world
- 01:33
Kwanzaa Timmy
My gifts to you will symbolize our African unity A makika match, some corn, some wine, and a booty full of me
- 01:48
Kwanzaa Timmy
Kwanzaa was founded by Dr. Maulan Karenga And like the spirit of the holiday I plan to get up all in here.
- 02:05
Speaker 1
Don't you understand what Kwanzaa's about?
- 02:09
Speaker 1
Hey, Kwanzaa, tell me what you're going to give me.
- 02:12
Kwanzaa Timmy
Look at my eyes and listen to my mouth.
- 02:17
Kwanzaa Timmy
Umuja, Kujijagwila, Ujima are the first three Kwanzaa dates. It's also the sound of the bed springs, while sweet, sweet love we make.
- 02:29
Kwanzaa Timmy
The last four days of Kwama, Aujama, Nia, Kumbha and Imani the next day tell all your friends about who my sexy Kwanzaa party
- 02:42
Speaker 1
There's no booty knocking Unless you feel I'm stuck in
- 02:46
Kwanzaa Timmy
Kwanzaa's about giving not getting
- 02:51
Kwanzaa Timmy
I've got corn I've got bushels of corn
- 02:56
Speaker 1
come know you, mister You knocked out my sister
- 03:00
Kwanzaa Timmy
Oh, on now listen Kwanzaa this is Kwanzaa not Black History Month you know don't be enslaved by the past baby break those chains you know
- 03:08
Kwanzaa Timmy
listen uh why don't we just take my makika mats some wine some some corn, your $20, and go back to my place and get an early start on this Kwanzaa celebration.
- 03:18
Speaker 2
I bought it.
- 03:20
Kwanzaa Timmy
Alright. Alright. Colin, you in?
- 03:23
Weekend Update anchor
Yes.
- 03:27
Speaker 1
HAPPY, SEXY QUANTUS.
- 03:33
Weekend Update anchor
THE QUANTUS, THE QUANTUS!
- 03:39
Weekend Update anchor
I'M CARLIN QUINN, THAT'S MY STORY, AND I'M STICKING TO IT.
- 03:43
Weekend Update anchor
We'll be right back.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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