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Valets: Game of Thrones
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Standing on the red carpet outside an upscale hotel, two valets compare notes on a Game of Thrones binge and gleefully replay its shocking deaths: Ned Stark, Khal Drogo, the Red Wedding, the Hound and Tywin Lannister, each with sound effects, shrieking dragon impressions and chants of "kilt." When they reach the man who killed his own father, they coin a nickname for him and declare him untouchable, and the sidewalk answers by opening a hole beneath the carpet that drops both valets out of sight above a distant mountain landscape.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
It's cold-blooded up in Westeros, dog!
You can't kill Khal Drogos with a papercut!
Dadinkles is my jam, my jelly, my peanut butter, and my peanuts.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
This sketch aired in “The 420 Special,” the ninth episode of Key & Peele’s fifth and final season, but had gone viral online months earlier, according to The A.V. Club’s review of the episode.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors.
- 00:01
Yo.
- 00:02
What's up?
- 00:03
Game of Thrones, though, dog.
- 00:04
Yo.
- 00:05
You all caught up?
- 00:06
I totally binge-watched that whole thing last night, dog.
- 00:09
Yo, it's all bloodied up in Westeros, dog.
- 00:11
They killed my man.
- 00:13
Ned Stark's.
- 00:15
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
- 00:18
You ain't seen that one coming, did you?
- 00:20
Oh, hell no.
- 00:21
Uh-uh.
- 00:21
Oh, my god.
- 00:22
Uh-uh.
- 00:23
I mean, my man was just there, right?
- 00:24
And he's talking about, he got down there and the thing,
- 00:26
like, blip, zing.
- 00:27
And then I was like, psst, I ain't worried.
- 00:29
They gonna kill my boy Ned Stark.
- 00:30
Slip.
- 00:31
and then plop, I was like,
- 00:33
ahhhhhh!
- 00:34
Yo, I told you they cold-blooded up in there.
- 00:36
And then I was like, but that's okay
- 00:37
because I still got my Carl Drogos.
- 00:39
Oh, Big Snave Navarro?
- 00:40
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 00:41
Big Snave Navarro?
- 00:42
Yeah, that dude picked up some molten gold,
- 00:46
poured it on heads.
- 00:48
Ah!
- 00:49
I want to sleep with my sister!
- 00:50
Yo.
- 00:51
And he killed him, right?
- 00:52
I mean, he big like Hercules and everything.
- 00:54
I'm like, you can't kill Carl Drogos with a paper cut.
- 00:56
An infected scratch, a foot and a scratch.
- 00:58
So he got straight killed.
- 01:00
But yo, but you know what my favorite character is?
- 01:02
Who's that dog? Who's that dog?
- 01:02
Psst. Khaleesi's.
- 01:04
Khaleesi.
- 01:05
You know I be liking some Khaleesi's, dog.
- 01:07
But what about Khaleesi's?
- 01:09
Straight up with them dragons.
- 01:11
What?
- 01:12
Khaleesi's with them dragons.
- 01:14
And Khaleesi's all like this.
- 01:15
And then we talking about...
- 01:17
We're done.
- 01:18
Ah!
- 01:19
Ah!
- 01:20
Ooh!
- 01:21
Just straight roasting goats!
- 01:23
Yo!
- 01:23
Oh my god.
- 01:24
Man, and that's when they start killing characters
- 01:26
left and right, dog!
- 01:27
At the wedding!
- 01:28
Yo!
- 01:28
At the wedding!
- 01:29
What?
- 01:30
His wife.
- 01:32
Yo! Kilt! Kilt! Kilt! Kilt!
- 01:35
That was a four-for-one, dawg.
- 01:36
That's a straight four-for-one, dawg.
- 01:37
What about when they got wildlings, girl?
- 01:39
Talking about...
- 01:41
You ain't got nothing but some snails.
- 01:43
Kilt!
- 01:45
What about the hound dog?
- 01:47
Yo!
- 01:47
What's the hound dog?
- 01:48
I'm falling down the hill!
- 01:49
I got five!
- 01:50
Kill me! You gotta kill me!
- 01:54
No!
- 01:56
Kilt! Slowly, by omission.
- 01:57
Yo!
- 01:58
What about my man Taiwan Lannisters?
- 02:00
Taiwan Lannisters.
- 02:01
Taiwan Lannisters.
- 02:02
Taiwan Lannisters.
- 02:03
Yo, my man's talking about...
- 02:05
I'm taking his .
- 02:06
Yeah?
- 02:06
He said...
- 02:07
I'm taking...
- 02:09
Killed!
- 02:09
By his own son.
- 02:11
What?
- 02:11
The Dinkles.
- 02:13
The Dinkles.
- 02:14
The Dinkles.
- 02:15
No.
- 02:15
The Dinkles.
- 02:17
The Dinkles.
- 02:18
The Dinkles.
- 02:18
The Dinkles is my jam.
- 02:19
Ain't nobody killed the Dinkles.
- 02:21
The Dinkles is my jam, my jelly, my peanut butter, and my peanuts.
- 02:24
Dinkles.
- 02:24
The Dinkles.
- 02:25
Dinkles, no!
- 02:27
Dinkles is...
- 02:28
We'll be right back.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from Key & Peele.
