You're tuned to the good stuff
Wedding Photographers
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Yeah, and full transparency, we are fully mic'd.
Don't scream at my child!
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A solemn church ceremony starts with a plea for a phone-free wedding, then two photographers in bow ties charge the aisle demanding eye contact and smiles from everyone. The officiant tries to calm them, but the pair proudly list their camera crews and microphones, hover over the readings and push guests aside, and one claims a harrowing past as a war photographer. When the couple begin their vows the photographers promise to be flies on the wall, only to send in drones that buzz the altar. The bride and groom explode in frustration, and a brawl breaks out around the altar before the ceremony limps to its kiss.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
Druski was the first online content creator to host Saturday Night Live.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Speaker 1
Good morning. Before we start, the bride and groom have asked for a distraction-free wedding. They want to see your beautiful faces, so please put your phones away. There will be plenty of photos. Ready, my son?
- 00:13
Groom
Ready as I'll ever be.
- 00:15
Speaker 1
Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for is here. Please stand for the bride.
- 00:23
Wedding Photographer
Over here, sweetie. Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. What? Let's get over the shoulder. I need eyes. Give me eyes. Give me eyes. Here. Show that smile. Show that smile. Looking great, sweetie. Show that smile. Come on, over here, yes, look at me, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, love it.
- 00:40
Speaker 1
Sorry, okay, okay, Roxy, Baptiste, I love your enthusiasm, but let's reign it in, huh?
- 00:45
Wedding Photographer
Okay, copy that, we just don't want to miss the moment, we got our A-cam, we got our B-cam. Yeah, and full transparency, we are fully mic'd. Yep.
- 00:53
Speaker 1
Ah. You may be seated.
- 00:55
Speaker 1
Welcome family and friends, the bride and groom would like to open the wedding with a reading from 1 Corinthians by the groom's sister and the cutest plus one I've ever seen
- 01:05
Speaker 2
love this patient love is kind oh she's not smiling
- 01:19
Wedding Photographer
I have an idea okay
- 01:23
Speaker 2
Don't scream at my child!
- 01:26
Speaker 1
Okay, okay where did these photographers even come from excuse me show some respect
- 01:31
Wedding Photographer
I was a war I'm a horror photographer in Afghanistan.
- 01:34
Speaker 1
Oh, well, thank you for your service.
- 01:37
Wedding Photographer
Actually, I messed that up. I was a horror photographer in the magazine Afghanistan.
- 01:43
Speaker 1
Thank you for your service. I'd like to remind everyone that this is a house of God, OK? Now, I believe the bride and groom have prepared their own vows.
- 01:56
Groom
Jess, Jess, you've been with me during the scariest days of my life. when i was in the hospital um you you were there and i was so scared but but you were amazing
- 02:11
Wedding Photographer
roll out roll out roll out okay okay okay all right guys guys okay okay okay you got the shot you got it all right okay all right we'll be flies on the wall yeah yeah and just like that we're out
- 02:25
Bride
oh thank you Ben you were my favorite person in the entire world I never told you this but from the moment I saw you I knew that you were that you were the one that I've been waiting for my best friend and why best friend, my partner in crime. Why do you need a daughter flies
- 02:49
Wedding Photographer
Hide! She said send in the second drone!
- 02:53
Bride
on Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! No! Enough! Enough!
- 03:02
Wedding Photographer
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Fly us a wall man flies on a wall
- 03:08
Groom
listen man we don't need all of this okay i just want to get married a bit unconventional but heard you
- 03:14
Speaker 1
okay your day it's your day your day buddy oh where were we uh right um you may now kiss the bride
- 03:23
Wedding Photographer
oh you look great oh my god oh that's fun baptist yes come on
- 03:29
Bride
are you serious are you serious
- 03:30
Wedding Photographer
that's the one picture you didn't take don't worry okay okay you look great we got something
- 03:38
Groom
what what this This sucks, man!
- 03:41
Wedding Photographer
Oh, shit.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.
