The Deathly Diner

A cheerful father and mother bring their two kids to the Deathly Diner, the horror-themed eatery of a newly opened amusement park. The robed greeter and their evil server commit hard to the act but have just one ominous warning, which they repeat about everything from the water to the side-dish upgrade. When the parents ask for the restaurant's backstory, the staff improvise a story about the basement and attic that keeps returning to a woman in the kitchen being harmed, each attempt at reassurance making it worse. The servers finally admit it is their first day, and the family leaves with the kids before the staff turn to an elderly couple celebrating a birthday and awkwardly turn the threat into a birthday wish.

Aired in Walton Goggins's hosting episode, with musical guest Arcade Fire. Inside the Magic read the sketch as a spoof of Das Stakehaus, the vampire-themed restaurant in the Dark Universe area of Universal's Epic Universe theme park.