Kyle's Holiday

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:03
   

   Tree Co-worker

   I know, it's like, what do I get my dad for Christmas?

2. 00:06
   

   Desk Co-worker

   Ugh, buying presents is the worst.

3. 00:08
   

   Tree Co-worker

   Yeah, it's so stressful.

4. 00:09
   

   Desk Co-worker

   Totally. And what's up with Santa's clothes? It's like, you might want to update that wardrobe.

5. 00:15
   

   Tree Co-worker

   Right? Yeah, hey Kyle.

6. 00:18
   

   Kyle

   Question for you, what are you all doing for Christmas? Should we do something together? That'd be kind of weird and

7. 00:24
   

   Desk Co-worker

   cool. Oh, I mean, I'm going

8. 00:26
   

   Tree Co-worker

   home. Yeah, it's family for

9. 00:29
   

   Kyle

   me. Ah, dupe. Well, if things change, I'm just chillin' over the break, so hit me

10. 00:34
    

    Tree Co-worker

    up.

11. 00:35
    

    Kyle

    Okay. God bless us, everyone. Tiny Tom. Or it's not Tiny Tom. Thompson. No. Oh man. Oh, man. Oh. Bless his heart. Bowen, my My dastardly

12. 00:57
    

    Elf

    companion. Oh, hey, Kyle. What you doing for Xmas? Oh, my parents are

13. 01:01
    

    Kyle

    flying in. Well, if the plane crashes or anything, I'll just be lounging. I'm jamming in the city, so hit me up. Jesus. Remember, don't be naughty. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

14. 01:21
    

    Kyle

    Jacob. Jacob, coolest page ever. Hey, you get to spend Christmas with me. I know, I'm sort of an SNL vet, but I'm surprisingly down to hang with people like you.

15. 01:32

    Speaker 1

    Oh, I actually can't. I'm going upstate, but I'm on the cast.

16. 01:36
    

    Billie Eilish

    are Are you crying?

17. 01:41
    

    Kyle

    No, no, no. I was just thinking how cool it is that Santa does it all in one night. Guy's a monster. Just another Christmas alone.

18. 01:56
    

    Billie Eilish

    Wow. Kyle, you're a great singer.

19. 02:00
    

    Kyle

    I know. They don't know how to use me on this show. I have no one to spend Christmas with. Even the Please Don't Destroy guys said I shouldn't be alive. Oh,

20. 02:09
    

    Billie Eilish

    sorry, man. But Christmas isn't just about where you are on December 25th. It's about the love that surrounds you every day I bet there's a lot of Christmas joy here at 30 Rock. Yeah,

21. 02:20
    

    Kyle

    I Guess you're right.

22. 02:22
    

    Billie Eilish

    So go ahead who brings Christmas joy into your life Well,

23. 02:28
    

    Kyle

    there's Kenan Thompson He still calls me Beck Bennett But I can tell that his heart is definitely in the right place and no one's better than Heidi and Eggo. They're so funny They've got this really great bit going where they just don't follow me on Instagram.

24. 02:44
    

    Kyle

    Can't forget Pete. You know, it's tough being the handsome guys on your show. The tabloids just won't leave us alone. I guess everyone here brings me joy, except maybe Mikey Day.

25. 02:58
    

    Kyle

    I really don't like him. I think he's fake. I have a fantasy where I catch him on a riding night all alone.

26. 03:06
    

    Kyle

    Sort of tie him up. I'm wearing a mask, but I let him get a peek at who's in charge. Kyle? You guessed it. I throw him in a closet, kick him around a little bit, pour some gasoline on him, just to mess with him. Then I go on his computer, change all the Mikeys in his scripts to Kyle's, and then look at me.

27. 03:21
    

    Kyle

    I'm the star of the show. I'm Don Doudna! So yeah, to answer your question, it's very joyful to be here at 30 Rock.

28. 03:32
    

    Billie Eilish

    Holy .

29. 03:33
    

    Kyle

    Thanks for the help, Billy. And Merry Christmas. What's up, Mikey? Whoa, cool shoes, man.

30. 03:40
    

    Mikey

    Thanks

31. 03:42
    

    Kyle

    Hey, Billy, how's it going run quit the show. You're not safe Merry Christmas from Matt Shad Don jr. Cluster customer and all your favorite Kyle Mooney characters.