You're tuned to the good stuff

The Killer Bees: Home Invasion

Saturday Night Live 1975 Season 1 Episode 9

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A bee gang takes a couple hostage for pollen, until wayward camerawork turns the invasion into a crisis in the SNL control room.

Watch on YouTube

Watch onYouTube

Community rating

7.0 / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

A suburban couple hear a radio warning about killer bees just as armed bees invade their living room. The gang demands pollen, foils the couple’s attempt to send them away and brings in a captive Aunt Betty. When the couple cannot provide what they want, the bee leader begins an appeal on behalf of his hungry village.

The camera keeps missing the speaker, prompting the actors to abandon their parts and call for producer Lorne Michaels. He heads into the control room, where director Dave Wilson is playing an incapacitated version of himself. Belushi supplies an increasingly improbable explanation while Michaels tries to salvage the scene. After the cast disperses, Gilda introduces Elliott Gould to her mother, whose enthusiasm leaves him looking for an escape.

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

We want your pollen.

He's probably in there firing his own father.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

Chevy Chase
Writer
Lorne Michaels
Writer
Dave Wilson
Director

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

This sketch marks Lorne Michaels’s first on-camera appearance on Saturday Night Live.

ScriptEnglish · 78 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:02
Husband
Airport 75's playing around the corner.
00:05
Wife
Oh, I don't know, honey. I don't feel right about seeing Airports 75 and 76.
00:10
Speaker 1
And now here's Sandy Duncan for the new BAF Viewmaster.
00:14
Wife
What is this? Is this a joke?
00:17
Speaker 1
We interrupt this program to bring you this bulletin from the newsroom. Swarms of South American killer bees have been spotted crossing the border into California.
00:29
Speaker 1
Sightings have mostly been confined to rural areas. None have yet been seen in the more heavily populated areas. Eyewitnesses say that the bees are yellow and black.
00:40
Diego
Do as I say, senor. Your wife dies.
00:42
Speaker 1
Much the way Eli Wallach did in the movie The Magnificent Seven. The bees are also overweight.
00:47
Diego
Turn that radio off!
00:49
Speaker 1
And danger...
00:49
Husband
Wait a minute. You must be the...
00:56
Diego
That's right, gringo. The killer bees. Carlos, lock the door.
01:09
Wife
The killer bees.
01:10
Husband
what do you want from us i mean
01:22
Diego
we want your pollen
01:28
Husband
you want our pollen
01:30
Diego
your wife
01:31
Husband
i don't understand uh oh we don't have any pollen i mean uh i think there could be some pollen in my coat why don't i just take a look no no pollen here must have left it in the foyer
02:01
Wife
What about that pollen you left in the freezer?
02:10
Husband
Why don't you go get it?
02:11
Wife
No, wait! My mistake. Didn't we leave the pollen at Aunt Betty's? The pollen's at Aunt Betty's, but there's no pollen here.
02:23
Husband
Hey, say, I've got a great idea. Why don't you just take the station wagon and get on over there and get that pollen from Aunt Betty?
02:30
Wife
Oh, sweetheart, I couldn't carry all that yummy, delicious pollen by myself.
02:36
Husband
All right, if you insist. I'll go with you.
02:39
Diego
You be quiet! You think we're stupid? You think we're stupid, Carlos?
02:43
Carlos
Gringo.
03:00
Diego
Paco, here, take your mother away. Take her away now.
03:03
Killer Bee
Come on, I'm ready. We go for a walk. I know you'll talk.
03:16
Husband
Look, look, look, fellas, you don't understand. Stan, we don't have any pollen. We're ordinary people. I mean, I hate to say this, but people have relatively little use for pollen. You see, I mean, I could write you a check.
03:32
Husband
I could get you some ice cream. You could sit around and watch a little TV.
03:37
Husband
But we don't have any pollen. I'm very sorry, but we just don't have any pollen.
03:43
Diego
Never mind. Let the woman go. One more killing would not put pollen in the mouths of our starving children
03:52
Killer Bee
No, no, taco head, no
03:55
Diego
What difference does it make? It is over now We are to return to the village We return empty-handed Señor, my people are a poor people They have worked very hard The harvest is so small for so long I knew we would have to leave to search elsewhere to buy food for our starving children we began our trip north in April
04:24
Chevy Chase
I think there's some kind of technical difficulty here well the cameras been on us all during your speech I think it should be the other way that's true
04:45
Elliott Gould
The point
04:46
Chevy Chase
is that the camera should be on him. Right here. Give it a shot. Turn this way.
04:53
Elliott Gould
Yeah, I know. I was in the middle. Okay. Senor. The people are a poor people. They have worked very hard. The harvest is so small for so long. I knew we would have to leave to find food elsewhere for our starving children.
05:13
Elliott Gould
Oh, stop it, stop it. lauren lauren lauren michaels i don't believe this
05:19
Lorne Michaels
well what's the problem
05:20
Elliott Gould
look at this shot look at this shot lauren
05:23
Lorne Michaels
oh my god i can only apologize excuse me i'm lauren michaels i'm the producer of this show uh elliot i can only apologize uh
05:32
Elliott Gould
you want me to do this speech from here lauren
05:34
Lorne Michaels
uh no i i it's it's nothing to worry about i'm sure it's just a minor technical problem i'll uh see to it right now okay if you just excuse me just wait one moment please
05:42
Elliott Gould
i can't I don't believe this angle, I don't know what this is.
05:44
Elliott Gould
Well, what is he gonna do?
05:45
Chevy Chase
I think he's going to the control room.
05:47
Elliott Gould
What, what, what, what can he do now?
05:49
Chevy Chase
I don't know if I'm gonna talk to the director or something.
05:51
Elliott Gould
Are we gonna stay here now?
05:52
Chevy Chase
I'll tell you this, he's mad now. I've seen Ellie mad, but he's mad. I mean, not Ellie, Lorne. I mean, I've seen Ellie mad too, but he's mad.
05:59
Elliott Gould
Well, I mean, I hope he's not too hard on the director.
06:05
Chevy Chase
Well, listen, let me tell you one thing about Lorne Michaels, Lorne. Lorne Michaels has the biggest heart in show business. you see he hired that director but nobody else would hire him you see 22 years ago Dave Wilson was the best young director in television he was at the top of his career you see he was directing I Married Joan at that time then one day the pressure got to him and he started hitting the bottle he went on a bender and didn't pull out of
06:42
Chevy Chase
it until Lauren found him six months ago and gave him this job and a new sense of himself. Since then, he's been on the wagon. Or at least until tonight.
06:54
Chevy Chase
Okay, so Lauren took a chance and gave an old-timer a new start. And maybe the pressure got to him again. He cracked. But that's not Lauren's fault.
07:05
Chevy Chase
He knows we've got a show to do. and if he has to fire him he will because he's that kind of producer but let me tell you one thing Elliot I wouldn't be in Lorne Michaels shoes for all the money in the world because right now he's probably in there firing his own father
07:31
Lorne Michaels
Elliot, we had a little technical problem in the booth. Nothing to worry about. Can you pick it up from my people are poor speech?
07:39
Elliott Gould
Look, Laura and I don't feel like doing it anymore. No, let's forget it.
07:43
Lorne Michaels
Elliot, I think it's working very well. I don't think there's any problem.
07:46
Elliott Gould
No, no, just forget it. It's gone. I want to do it.
07:50
Chevy Chase
Yeah, right. Boy, I told you. That Lauren Michaels sure can't take it on the chin, can he?
07:59
Gilda Radner
Um, Elliot, do you have a few minutes? Wait, there's, just wait here. There's somebody I want you to meet, okay?
08:10
Gilda Radner
Um, Elliot? This is my mom. Mom, this is Elliot.
08:15
Mrs. Radner
Oh, I'm so glad to meet you.
08:18
Gilda Radner
How was your flight, Mom?
08:19
Mrs. Radner
Oh, it was lovely, dear. We've had dinner and drinks.
08:22
Gilda Radner
Mom just flew in from Florida.
08:24
Elliott Gould
Oh, it's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Radley.
08:26
Mrs. Radner
It's lovely meeting you, and I love all your pictures, and everyone loves you. And Michael thinks you're just awesome.
08:31
Gilda Radner
Oh, Michael's my brother. He saw Getting Straight about six times. He's taking a later flight. You can meet him later.
08:38
Mrs. Radner
I want to thank you. I want to thank you for being so lovely to my daughter. You're just a doll. It's such a pleasure meeting you.
08:46
Elliott Gould
Well, you must be very proud of Gilda. She's so talented.
08:51
Elliott Gould
She's going to be a big star for this show.
08:54
Gilda Radner
Okay, we'll see you later.
08:57
Mrs. Radner
It was a pleasure.
08:58
Mrs. Radner
And from what Gilda tells me, we should be seeing a lot of each other.
09:02
Gilda Radner
Oh, okay, come on, Mom. Okay, Mom, goodbye, I'm going to...
09:05
Elliott Gould
Could we go to a commercial or something now?