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First Thanksgiving

Saturday Night Live2019Season 45Episode 7
Saturday Night LiveSNL
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

Pocahontas brings John Smith to a family Thanksgiving dinner, where her grandfather turns the welcome into an argument about settlers, borders and the news.

Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

In a deliberately anachronistic Thanksgiving gathering, Pocahontas introduces her boyfriend John Smith to her family. Her parents try to make him comfortable, but her grandfather resents the newcomers and repeats warnings from a talking fox. The family’s disagreement turns into a parody of modern arguments about immigration and partisan news, while John repeatedly excuses himself to use the bathroom. His difficulty digesting corn finally gives everyone something in common, although Grandpa still refuses to shake his unwashed hand. Will Ferrell then steps out of character to acknowledge the sketch’s casting and historical incongruities before wishing the audience a happy Thanksgiving.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 5

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

Can we just have a nice Thanksgiving dinner without bringing up politics?

Bone dry again.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph returned as guest performers alongside host Will Ferrell.

ScriptEnglish · 79 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:00

    Pocahontas

    Wow, this food is amazing, Mom.

  2. 00:02

    Dad

    Yeah, it sure is.

  3. 00:03

    John Smith

    Yes, Mrs. Hauntus, the corn is very delicious.

  4. 00:05

    Mom

    Well, I'm glad you like it, John, but again, our last name isn't Hauntus.

  5. 00:09

    Dad

    Yeah, we don't have last names, John.

  6. 00:12

    John Smith

    Oh, right. Sorry, I guess I messed up again.

  7. 00:15

    Grandpa

    I guess you did.

  8. 00:17

    Pocahontas

    It's okay, John, you're doing fine.

  9. 00:19

    John Smith

    I'm just so nervous. I really want your family to like me.

  10. 00:22

    Pocahontas

    They do like you.

  11. 00:23

    John Smith

    Would you excuse me for a sec? I just have to use the restroom.

  12. 00:26

    Oh, okay. Okay.

  13. 00:28

    Mom

    Well, John seems nice.

  14. 00:30

    Pocahontas

    He is, Mom. And thanks again for welcoming him to Thanksgiving dinner, even though he's...

  15. 00:34

    Grandpa

    A pale face?

  16. 00:35

    Grif?

  17. 00:37

    Mom

    That's not nice. You're being prejudiced.

  18. 00:39

    Grandpa

    I'm not prejudiced. I just see that the pale faces are taking over. They're everywhere now.

  19. 00:45

    Dad

    Maybe cool it with the pale face talk, Dad.

  20. 00:47

    Grandpa

    What? Can we... We can't say that now? So-so what are they called?

  21. 00:52

    Mom

    I think just white people.

  22. 00:54

    Grandpa

    White people? But they're not white. They're pale.

  23. 00:59

    Pocahontas

    Guys, stop it. He's gonna hear you.

  24. 01:01

    John Smith

    Oh, phew. I guess my stomach was a little upset. I feel a lot better now.

  25. 01:06

    Grandpa

    Look. He didn't even wash. His hands are bone dry.

  26. 01:11

    Dad

    So, John, Pocahontas tells us you're turning 30 soon.

  27. 01:15

    John Smith

    Yep. Yeah. Couple of weeks.

  28. 01:17

    Mom

    And you do know she's 12, right?

  29. 01:21

    John Smith

    Yeah, I do. I do. Yeah.

  30. 01:23

    Dad

    Oh, I-I see.

  31. 01:25

    Grandpa

    Hey, I-I have an idea. Why don't we all go around the table and share something that we're thankful for?

  32. 01:31

    Mom

    Oh, I love that idea. Well, I'm thankful for...

  33. 01:35

    Grandpa

    I'll start. I'm thankful for our land and our great and mighty chief, and let's hope he finally builds that wall.

  34. 01:44

    Pocahontas

    Grandpa?

  35. 01:45

    Grandpa

    What? We need a wall. I heard those illegal settlers are coming over here with their diseases and guns, and we need to protect our borders

  36. 01:54

    Pocahontas

    that's just so rude and offensive grandpa

  37. 01:56

    John Smith

    yeah where'd you even hear a thing like that

  38. 01:58

    Grandpa

    fox

  39. 01:59

    grandpa you gotta stop talking to that crazy old fox

  40. 02:03

    Grandpa

    he knows what's up he makes a lot more sense than that lying peacock you talk to

  41. 02:10

    John Smith

    you know what it's okay everybody's entitled to their own opinion

  42. 02:14

    Grandpa

    exactly

  43. 02:15

    Mom

    can we just have a nice thanksgiving dinner without you Are you bringing up politics?

  44. 02:19

    Grandpa

    Fine by me.

  45. 02:20

    Dad

    Yes. Please.

  46. 02:21

    John Smith

    You know what? I think I have to excuse myself again.

  47. 02:24

    Mom

    Oh, sure.

  48. 02:24

    Pocahontas

    Okay, babe. Grandpa, you're being a bigot.

  49. 02:28

    Mom

    Is John okay? That's the second time he's excused himself.

  50. 02:32

    Pocahontas

    Maybe because Grandpa keeps freaking him out.

  51. 02:35

    Grandpa

    Or maybe because he's stealing from us.

  52. 02:37

    Pocahontas

    What? John doesn't steal.

  53. 02:39

    Grandpa

    I'm just saying, since those illegals showed up, a lot of things have gone missing lately. Buffaloes, land.

  54. 02:48

    Dad

    But, Grandpa, the pale, excuse me, white people have made some good contributions to our land.

  55. 02:53

    Grandpa

    Oh, right, like those ugly blankets that are getting everybody sick.

  56. 02:57

    Mom

    Who told you the blankets are getting people sick?

  57. 03:00

    Grandpa

    The fox. He knows what's up. He also said these illegals...

  58. 03:06

    Pocahontas

    Stop calling them illegals! They're just regular, hardworking people seeking refuge.

  59. 03:10

    Grandpa

    And since when is it our job to take care of this world's problems.

  60. 03:14

    Mom

    Okay, Dad, that's enough.

  61. 03:16

    John Smith

    Hey, guys, I should maybe get going.

  62. 03:19

    Grandpa

    Bone dry again.

  63. 03:22

    Pocahontas

    Stop it.

  64. 03:24

    Mom

    John, please stay.

  65. 03:26

    Dad

    Yeah, I'm sorry about my father. He's just a little old-fashioned.

  66. 03:29

    John Smith

    Oh, it's not that. I just think my stomach is having a hard time digesting this food. Uh, I saw some whole corn kernels in my stool, and I specifically remember chewing them all.

  67. 03:39

    Dad

    Yeah, that happens to me, too.

  68. 03:43

    Grandpa

    me too

  69. 03:44

    Pocahontas

    yeah it's something about the skin on the corn i think it doesn't break down

  70. 03:48

    Grandpa

    oh but that doesn't make sense because it's only some of them in my stool

  71. 03:52

    Mom

    right like three or four

  72. 03:55

    John Smith

    yes i saw exactly four just now in my stool

  73. 03:58

    Grandpa

    and i saw three yesterday wow john i i guess we have a few things in common after all

  74. 04:09

    John Smith

    yeah i guess so

  75. 04:12

    John Smith

    friends

  76. 04:13

    Grandpa

    friends

  77. 04:16

    Grandpa

    i'm not touching your hand you just crapped twice and your hands are bone dry

  78. 04:23

    sorry

  79. 04:24

    Will Ferrell

    hi folks i'm will ferrell and if you're anything like me you know there's a lot of problems in this crazy crazy sketch i mean white actors playing natives what is this 2014 but no matter what year it is or what color we are or whether we get our news from a fox or a peacock one thing's for sure none of us can digest corn and that's what's important Happy Thanksgiving

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