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Rocket Report: Santa Claus
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Standing beside a lit Christmas tree and angel, Charles Rocket reports on the holiday season in New York City and turns his admiration to Santa Claus himself. His narration imagines Santa busy at the North Pole with letters, toys, elves and Mrs. Claus's cookies, and marvels at a man who works against all odds without ever asking for donations. Meanwhile the footage shows a very different Santa in Times Square, rooting through trash, panhandling a passer-by, staggering past adult-theater signs and slinking out of an entrance, while Rocket's gushing praise never wavers. He signs off with another round of warm Christmas wishes.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Santa Claus, truly a heck of a guy
I can't think of a better place to be at Christmas time
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Announcer
and here now the rocket report
- 00:04
Charles Rocket
Christmas time such a wonderful time hi Charles rocket in New York City and I can't think of a better place to be at Christmas time just take a look the decorations the excitement the shopping the shoppers the stores it's just Christmas spirit magnum well I can't think of anybody I'd much rather share the Christmas spirit with than than old St.
- 00:31
Charles Rocket
Nick himself, Santa Claus. Too bad he can't be here in New York to share all this Christmas spirit, but he's too busy. What do you think he's doing right now? I'll bet he's up at the North Pole reading all the children's letters, furiously trying to decide how many toys he can build and how much time it's gonna take him.
- 00:48
Charles Rocket
The elves are all pitching in. Mrs. Claus is baking cookies in the Claus home and all the elves are running in out of the cold to get some cookies and some warm soup.
- 01:00
Charles Rocket
how does he do it you know he's never asked anybody for any donations of any time instead he's managed to come through every year though he has nothing more than his dedication to children is his only means of support I think it's wonderful that a guy would work so hard against all odds to take on a task so so enormous and he always seems to come up with just the right kind of ideas for gifts for girls and boys all over the world and how does
- 01:27
Charles Rocket
he know which girls and which girls are naughty and which girls are nice?
- 01:32
Charles Rocket
Well, apparently he has some secret system whereby Cindy reaches out and, as it were, comes up with the right answers each and every time, never missing a trick.
- 01:45
Charles Rocket
And what does he do when he runs out of ideas? Where does he get his inspiration? Now, I wouldn't be surprised if, like a lot of us, he just gets caught up in the spirit of things and he just wants to, well, do anything he can just to make Christmas the special time of year that it is.
- 02:03
Charles Rocket
Can you imagine what it must be like when Santa comes downstairs after a warm and wonderful night with Mrs. Claus and steps outside knowing that he's about to fulfill everyone's most important dreams and fantasies? Always right there, where and when we want it.
- 02:22
Charles Rocket
Santa Claus, truly a heck of a guy A heck of a job really comes through in a heck of a way each year, after year. Sees the whole world just one night. Guy's definitely as special as that. Needs the kind of special love and affection that only we can seem to conjure up at Christmas time. But at least we're capable of it.
- 02:43
Charles Rocket
We do come through each time, every time, this time of year. I'm Charles Rocket. Christmas time, New York City. We'll see you again some other time.
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