Blow Up the Moon

At a NASA press conference, beaming officials declare that the United States will destroy the moon on the Fourth of July, timing the blast for a full moon so none of it is missed. A breathless "America Blows Up the Moon" news special then surveys the national fever: President Guy Whitey Corngood waves from his limousine, a Tulsa couple plans a viewing party, a schoolgirl proudly shows her crayon drawing of the explosion, a retired astronaut shrugs that there is nothing left to do up there, and bearded country singer C.S. Lewis Jr. belts out a flag-draped anthem. The mood collapses when Galileo, the chimp picked to press the launch button, uses sign language to ask why anyone would do this, prompting protests and a sulking follow-up song. NASA's fix is to swap in Mr. Wiggles, a circus monkey who knows no signs, and the moon goes up in flames.