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Apple iRack
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
At an Apple event for shareholders and investors, Steve Jobs runs through a roll call of i-branded gadgets before revealing the iRack, a cheap wire storage rack. When audience members question its stability, he insists his intelligence was sound, declares the job done and starts cramming Apple products onto its shelves. As the crowd begs him to take things out, he throws money at the rack and promises thousands more items until it bursts into flames and the audience flees. Undaunted, he asks everyone to forget the iRack and focus on his next product, the iRan. The launch doubles as a satire of the Bush administration's conduct of the Iraq War.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Trust me, the intelligence briefings I got on the iRack are completely credible.
I hear what you're saying, and the answer is no.
There is no exit strategy.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Announcer
Ladies and gentlemen, Apple Computer shareholders and investors, may I introduce the founder of Apple Computers, Mr. Steve Jobs.
- 00:14
Steve Jobs
Welcome, everyone. In the last three years, Apple Computers has introduced iTechnology that has changed the world. The iPod. The iMac. The iBook. the iPhone, the iPicture frame, the iLamp, the iMicrowave, and the iVacuum cleaner. Tonight, I will unveil to you our newest eye technology. And it will synergize with all of our eye products. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Eye Rack.
- 01:13
Stockholder
...stable.
- 01:27
Steve Jobs
Trust me, the intelligence briefings I got on the IRAC are completely credible.
- 01:33
Stockholder
The IRAC looks like something we shouldn't be involved with. It looks like you put it together with no directions.
- 01:40
Steve Jobs
I'm confident the IRAC will work without any directions or plans of any sort.
- 01:47
Stockholder
But the IRAC looks all shaky. I mean, you are going to fix it, right?
- 01:51
Steve Jobs
Wrong. this is the Iraq as we intended mission accomplished now I'm going to put our eye products into the Iraq
- 02:04
Stockholder
mr. mr. jobs don't force them in there
- 02:16
Steve Jobs
I know what I'm doing I'm not dumb
- 02:19
Stockholder
looks like it doesn't even want those things in there
- 02:28
Steve Jobs
don't worry I know what's best for the Iraq
- 02:31
Stockholder
don't put more in the Iraq it'll collapse on itself
- 02:36
Steve Jobs
wrong what the iraq needs is more things
- 02:39
Stockholder
you shouldn't be putting more things in you should be taking things out
- 02:44
Stockholder
yeah get things out of the iraq
- 02:48
Steve Jobs
does everyone here want me to take things out of the iraq i hear what you're saying and the answer is no
- 02:57
Stockholder
No.
- 02:59
Steve Jobs
I'm going to put even more things in the eye rack.
- 03:03
Stockholder
But the eye products don't even look like they're getting along in the eye rack. They look like they hate each other in there.
- 03:15
Steve Jobs
That's just the beginnings of synergy. I will help the process along by throwing the rest of our money at the eye rack.
- 03:23
Stockholder
I do not support you in this.
- 03:31
Steve Jobs
I don't care. And guess what? But, I'm going to put 21,000 more things in the iRack!
- 03:38
Stockholder
Oh my god, the fire from the iRack is engulfing the entire building! Everybody out!
- 03:45
Oh my god! Get out of here!
- 03:51
Steve Jobs
There is no exit strategy! I want you all to stop focusing on the iRack! And start focusing on our newest product!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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