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Bon Qui Qui at King Burger

Mad TV 2007 Season 13 Episode 8

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A King Burger cashier who treats every customer as an interruption keeps summoning security over the simplest special orders.

Watch on YouTube

Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

Bon Qui Qui is working the register at King Burger, but she would rather finish gossiping on her cell phone than take anyone's order. She talks one customer out of a milkshake because it would be too much trouble to make, then loses patience with a man who keeps adjusting his toppings and calls security on him. Her mustached manager, Mr. Williams, reminds her that a complicated order is no reason to call security, yet she does it again moments later to a woman who wants lightly seasoned chicken, and he has to explain to the bewildered customer that Bon Qui Qui came to them through an out-of-the-hood hiring program. When her boyfriend, newly free from house arrest, drops by, she drops the attitude entirely, beatboxing into the order microphone while he dances in front of the counter, until the pair break into a full-blown dance behind the register as Mr. Williams fumes.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 5

Highly quotable.

Don't interrupt. Rude.

Well, I will cut you.

A little extra

Notes from the archive.

This sketch marked Anjelah Johnson's debut as Bon Qui Qui during her first season on Mad TV in 2007. The character returned to King Burger nearly a decade later in the show's 2016 CW revival.

ScriptEnglish · 37 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:01
Bon Qui Qui
Girl, Marcus Foster met me yesterday, and he had me show up. Girl, I will cut him. Girl, yes, I will. You remember what happened last time, right, when he had said he didn't hook up with Tracy, and then I had found out he did? Girl, I cut him. Oh, girl, yes, I did, girl. She said, yes, I did. Uh, you see me in the middle of a conversation? Don't interrupt. Rue, I'm about to call you back. Welcome to King Burger, where we could do it your way, but don't get crazy.
00:32
All right, can I get a number 6 with a cookies and cream milkshake?
00:37
Bon Qui Qui
You sure you just don't want a Coke?
00:39
Pardon?
00:40
Bon Qui Qui
Yeah, I gotta get the ice cream out, put some cookies all up in it. I don't even know how to use that blender. They got me pressing all these crazy buttons. No, you can have a Coke. Let me get another seat with a large Coke. Next.
00:50
No-Cheese Customer
All right, I'll have a number 3 with no cheese, no tomato, and no lettuce.
00:57
Bon Qui Qui ?
Dang, anything else? Wait, I got a complicated order. It'll be a number three with no cheese, no tomato.
01:07
No-Cheese Customer
Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
01:08
Bon Qui Qui
Excuse me, sir. You see me trying to put in my order? Don't interrupt. Rude. And now lettuce, that's it.
01:15
No-Cheese Customer
What? I changed my mind about the cheese.
01:18
Bon Qui Qui
Oh, now you want some cheese?
01:19
No-Cheese Customer
Yes.
01:20
Bon Qui Qui
Now you want some cheese? You see me putting the order, why you didn't say nothing in the first place?
01:23
No-Cheese Customer
I-I tried to, but...
01:24
Bon Qui Qui
Uh-uh, no, sir, don't get loud with me, sir. Do not get loud with me. Oh, no. Security! Security! This dude needs to go. He needs to go. He needs to go. Thank you. Oh, hi, Mr. Williams. How are you today, sir?
01:38
Mr. Williams
I've had better days, Blancouicoui. This is the fifth time you've called security. Now, how many times do I have to tell you you cannot call security just because somebody has a complicated order?
01:46
Bon Qui Qui
Is that what you're not saying?
01:47
Mr. Williams
Yes, that's what I had said.
01:49
Bon Qui Qui
Oh, okay, you're right, Mr. Williams. Okay, I'm sorry. Next, please.
01:54
Chicken Customer
Hi, can I get a number five with a boneless, skinless chicken that is lately seasoned?
01:59
Bon Qui Qui
No, security! Some security. She needs to go. Needs to go.
02:04
Mr. Williams ?
Wait, wait. What?
02:06
Bon Qui Qui
Sir, she was trying to fight me, sir.
02:07
Chicken Customer
No, I wasn't.
02:09
Bon Qui Qui
Well, I will cut you.
02:10
Mr. Williams
I'm sorry, she's with our out-of-the-hood program. Thank you. ma'am.
02:18
Bon Qui Qui
Oh, shi- Hey, Hey, DeWatt.
02:23
Bon Qui Qui's Boyfriend
Hey, what's going on, bone-queen-queen?
02:25
Bon Qui Qui
I didn't know you come here.
02:27
Bon Qui Qui's Boyfriend
Yeah, man, I ain't on no house arrest no more.
02:29
Bon Qui Qui
Okay, okay, what you want to order, boo?
02:31
Bon Qui Qui's Boyfriend
Hey, let me get number three, and instead of fries, let me have some onion rings.
02:36
Bon Qui Qui
Okay, that's all you want?
02:38
I don't know what I want. A what?
02:41
Bon Qui Qui ?
Let me put in your order.
02:43
Bon Qui Qui's Boyfriend ?
Okay, then. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
02:44
Here Hi! Hi! you go. Oh, no, I need. Can I get some ketchup? Yeah, yeah. God bless you. God bless you. I need ketchup. Yeah, I know we're going to go all the way up. Fung, quick, quick. The comedy. The comedy. Yeah. man.