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Inadequate Christmas Presents
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
On Christmas morning, Susie Kingsford has her family open the presents she bought them: a cell phone for her husband Frank, an Xbox for her daughter Allison and a portable DVD player for her mother. Everyone sincerely loves their gifts, but Susie reads every reaction as disappointment, apologizes, offers to take things back and berates herself for ruining the holiday. When Allison hands her a present in return, Susie unwraps yet another pair of gloves, and her self-pity turns to fury as she tears through the living room, snatches back the DVD player and declares next Christmas cancelled.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 4
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
Really blew it this year, didn’t I?
I do wear a lot of piss yellow.
Christmas is canceled next year!
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:01
Frank
Well, I just have to say, this is the best Christmas the Kingsford family has ever had.
- 00:09
It sure is.
- 00:10
Susie
Okay, everyone, it's time for you to open your gifts from me.
- 00:15
Frank
Now, wait a minute, honey, you cheated. We agreed that we were not going to exchange gifts this year.
- 00:22
Susie
I know, I know, but I saw this and I just, I just had to get it for you.
- 00:28
Frank
Well, you are the best.
- 00:30
Susie
Oh, sweetie. Okay. Open it up.
- 00:33
Frank
Okay. Oh!
- 00:37
Frank
Oh, a cell phone. Oh, wow, I love it.
- 00:41
Susie
Shoot.
- 00:44
Frank
Good, honey, it's great.
- 00:46
Susie
I'm sorry, Frank, I really thought you would like that.
- 00:50
Frank
Susie, I do like it.
- 00:51
Susie
It's okay, honey, I can take it back.
- 00:54
Grandma
Oh, Susie, boy, that is a terrific gift.
- 00:57
Susie
Mom, mom, mom. Um, please don't. It's obvious that Frank doesn't like it. It's okay.
- 01:04
Susie
Allison, honey, why don't you open up your gift that I got for you?
- 01:10
Allison
Okay, but, you know, Dad's gift was really cool.
- 01:13
Susie
Yeah, I thought so, too. I wish he did.
- 01:15
Frank
Honey, I do think it's cool.
- 01:19
Susie
It's okay. I'll take it back.
- 01:22
Susie
Okay, Allison, open it up.
- 01:23
Allison
Okay. Well, the paper's really cool.
- 01:29
Allison
Oh, my God! It's an Xbox!
- 01:32
Susie
Oh, shit. Oh, shit!
- 01:37
Allison
Mommy, that's exactly what I wanted.
- 01:39
Grandma
What a great gift that is, honey.
- 01:40
Frank
Another terrific gift there. Terrific.
- 01:44
Susie
Oh, boy. Really blew it this year, didn't I? And Christmas was going so well.
- 01:50
Frank
Didn't you just hear her? She just said that she thinks it's great.
- 01:54
Susie
I tried, honey. Mommy tried.
- 01:59
Frank
Susie, stop doing that right now. Now, the Xbox is terrific, and the cell phone is great.
- 02:05
Susie
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Christmas isn't about the presents.
- 02:11
Susie
Mom? Mom, I want you to open your gift.
- 02:16
Grandma
Oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, okay.
- 02:22
Grandma
Oh, I'm sure it's just gonna be great.
- 02:27
Yeah!
- 02:29
Grandma
Oh! Oh, boy, it's gonna be good. I just know I'm gonna love it.
- 02:37
Grandma
Oh, Oh, look, oh. It's great.
- 02:42
Grandma
Oh, you're perfect! It's a portable DVD player!
- 02:47
Oh!
- 02:47
Susie
CLUTCH! AND JOY! HOORAY For Mom's gifts, everyone!
- 02:57
Frank
I do not know why you torture yourself and everyone else like this every year. Now we're all smiling and enjoying the holiday!
- 03:15
Allison
Here, Mommy. I got you this.
- 03:20
Susie
Oh, sweetie.
- 03:21
Susie
Sweetie.
- 03:23
Susie
Oh, I don't deserve a gift. Especially to the rotten gifts I picked out for you guys.
- 03:40
Susie
gloves woo yeah
- 03:43
Allison
what's your favorite color
- 03:45
Susie
oh yeah you're right there I do wear a lot of piss yellow not
- 03:50
Frank
HONEY, THAT'S NOT appropriate
- 03:53
Susie
oh I got gloves again imagine that
- 03:56
Frank
well no Susie you say thank you
- 03:59
Susie
oh yeah oh I will I will I'm just gonna go put these with all the other gloves that I have cause I tell you something I sure do get a lot of gloves
- 04:08
Susie
gloves I love some of you people!
- 04:10
Susie
Happy frickin' Christmas!
- 04:12
Me?
- 04:13
Susie
You know next year that's all you people are getting. That's it. You know now you're getting gloves.
- 04:19
Susie
No, better yet, you know what? Christmas is cancelled next year!
- 04:23
Susie
I just can't! Give
- 04:26
Allison
What is your problem, you rat bitch?
- 04:35
Susie
Give me that DVD player.
- 04:37
Susie
I wanna give it to you and give it to you!
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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