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Vera Mangus, Psychic
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Gray-haired psychic Vera Mangus (Stephnie Weir) settles into an armchair, cigarette in hand, and explains how she went from resenting her powers to treating them as a gift. She then works the studio audience. Her first subject denies almost every guess about his siblings until she settles on mocking his family's favoritism. A woman who just bought a car hears that she picked the wrong brand and that a man she has never met is already following her. For the final reading Vera singles out a man under an optometrist's care, predicts his eyesight will only get worse, and leaves him with a farewell jab about his hopes of fame.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 1
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
It's kind of a stalking situation.
Keep your eyes on the stars, 'cause you're never gonna be one.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
You are now watching MAGIC! MAGIC! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Vera Mangus.
- 00:13
Vera Mangus
It took me a long time to learn to accept my psychic powers. Now, I used to just get real pissed off about it. But then, I had an epiphany. Okay? And now I can see that my powers are a gift. All right, and let me tell you something right now. Get in life you gotta learn to make lemonade out of that room. Sweetie, can I have permission to give you a psychic reading right here in the gray T-shirt? Okay. What is your name, honey?
- 00:59
Speaker 1 ?
Kirk.
- 01:00
Vera Mangus
Kirk. Thank you, Kirk. All right. Kirk, honey, you have a brother. is that true
- 01:10
Speaker 1 ?
no
- 01:11
Vera Mangus
you have a sister
- 01:14
Speaker 1 ?
yes
- 01:16
Vera Mangus
yes and she's got a lot of hair on her lip now you your sister and your mother are real close is that true
- 01:32
Speaker 1 ?
yes yes they are
- 01:34
Vera Mangus
yes they are and sometimes you feel like your sister is your mother's favorite child is that true
- 01:42
Speaker 1 ?
yes that's true
- 01:45
Vera Mangus
you're right honey i know it's a sad thing because there's a female energy that is right in here somebody right over here just bought a brand new car is that right in here you did you just brought a brand new blue car
- 02:10
Speaker 2 ?
yes i did yes i did
- 02:12
Vera Mangus ?
did. You bought a blue Saab?
- 02:16
Speaker 2 ?
No.
- 02:19
Vera Mangus
What'd you get?
- 02:20
Speaker 2 ?
An Oldsmobile Alero.
- 02:22
Vera Mangus
An Oldsmobile Alero? You should have gone with a Saab. You are, you're married, true?
- 02:32
Speaker 2 ?
No.
- 02:32
Vera Mangus
No, I didn't think so. Because you're single, but you are involved with somebody right now, true?
- 02:38
Speaker 2 ?
No.
- 02:39
Vera Mangus
No? Do Do you know a gentleman named Darren?
- 02:43
Speaker 2 ?
No.
- 02:44
Vera Mangus
No? It's kind of a stalking situation.
- 02:49
Speaker 2 ?
No.
- 02:51
Vera Mangus
He's involved with you, and you don't know it yet.
- 02:54
Speaker 2 ?
Okay.
- 02:55
Vera Mangus
Okay, and he's going to be a little bit scary, but you need to get a little love in your head.
- 03:01
Speaker 2 ?
Okay.
- 03:02
Vera Mangus ?
Okay, somebody to drive you around in that car so when your piece of crap breaks down, you have a lot of fun.
- 03:08
Speaker 2 ?
Okay, that sounds good.
- 03:10
Vera Mangus
all right okay sweetie now in my final reading there is a health issue that i've been avoiding it's over in this area right here and it's this fella hon right up here no behind him right there yes you sweetie yes what is your name
- 03:32
Speaker 3 ?
my name is brian
- 03:33
Vera Mangus
now are you currently under the care of an optometrist
- 03:39
Speaker 3 ?
how How did you guess yes
- 03:44
Vera Mangus
yes you are yes it was for you okay so brace yourself honey your eyesight's not gonna get any better all right you gotta let that dream go because it's just gonna get worse and worse every year and eventually i see you with a pair of glasses so thick you burn people when you talk to all right I gotta go But remember, keep your eyes on the stars, because you're never going to be one.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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