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One True Impact

Mad TV 1998 Season 4 Episode 9

SKETCH-O-VISION

A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A fake trailer sells a weepy family drama in which two action-movie tough guys finally open up at their dying father's bedside.

Watch on YouTube

Watch onYouTube

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

The trailer promises a sensitive film event starring two famous action heroes as brothers reunited to look after their ailing father. They trade wounded accusations, relive a childhood flashback in which the father berated the older brother over a school grade, and settle their feelings with a kicking fight beside the sickbed. Between clumsy attempts to comfort the old man, they shake him far too roughly, reminisce in narrated platitudes, and a nurse finally steps in as the trailer closes on a tagline about how hard it can be to watch something soft.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Highly quotable.

No son of mine is less than perfect!

The question isn't how. The question is when, and the answer is now.

Why didn't you love me, Dad?

ScriptEnglish · 26 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

00:01
Speaker 1
You are moved by Steel Magnolias. Terms of Endearment spoke to your soul and Marvin's Room touched your heart. Now get ready for the film event of the season.
00:14
Speaker 1
Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude Van Damme as you've never seen them before.
00:20
Jean-Claude Van Damme
I've come home to help take care of our dying dad.
00:22
Steven Seagal
He's dying, you know. I'm very emotional right now.
00:26
Speaker 1
One True Impact. It's the sensitive story of two men with feelings and emotions never before captured on film.
00:36
Steven Seagal
I didn't believe you when you said you'd come back home.
00:39
Jean-Claude Van Damme
I'm your brother. Why don't you believe in me?
00:42
Steven Seagal
Maybe because you don't believe in yourself.
00:45
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Who has hurt you so much to make this happen?
00:50
Father
Steven, you are a worthless piece of crap! An A-minus in math! No son of mine is less than perfect!
00:59
Speaker 2
No, Dad, please don't whip me. I promise I'll do better next time.
01:03
Father
Who says there's going to be a next time, huh?
01:07
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Hey, Dad, why? Why don't you pick on a me of your own size?
01:15
Steven Seagal
The question isn't how. The question is when, and the answer is now. No. No, Jean-Claude. This is a fight that can only be fought by me.
01:40
Jean-Claude Van Damme
And me. I understand now. You are wrestling with your past.
02:12
Steven Seagal
Why didn't you love me, Dad? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
02:24
Jean-Claude Van Damme
The doctor said we probably shouldn't violently shake him around too much.
02:29
Steven Seagal
Right. Sorry.
02:32
Jean-Claude Van Damme
That's okay.
02:32
Speaker 1
Brothers separated by pain, brought together by more pain. But in pain, there is joy and bonding.
02:44
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Remember that time when we were kids and you did that funny thing?
02:49
Steven Seagal
Oh yes, I am laughing at that special memory that I share with you.
02:53
Speaker 1
But was their bond too late to help their father?
03:03
Jean-Claude Van Damme
No, Dad, hold on! I'm a nurse, let me help him!
03:15
Steven Seagal
Please don't die. We have too many unresolved issues with our past, with our present, with our future.
03:23
Speaker 1
Coming. One True Impact, coming soon. Being soft can be hard to watch.