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Debbie Dander: Seminar Training
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Debbie Dander, a human motivator for Duolab USA, switches her scheduled hygiene seminar to "Ron Is High: Dealing with Drugs in the Workplace" after an industrial accident. She hands the assembled managers a sampler bowl of drugs and needles to learn to spot, coaches them to wink and use street slang at an addict colleague, and then announces that the group will provide specimens right there in the room. Her chirpy cheer never wavers, even as she closes by noting that the unlucky Ron is now jobless and back with his parents.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 1
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
You're management. You're tough, scary people.
We want to make sure you're not giving us, shall we say, milk from someone else's cow.
Ron is unemployed and has moved back in with his parents. Good luck.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:05
Debbie Dander
Good Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to corporate seminar number four. How about a great big seminar, hello?
- 00:12
Speaker 1
Hello!
- 00:13
Debbie Dander
Terrific! My name is Debbie Dander, and for those of you who don't know me, I'm a human motivator for Duolab USA. So if at any time throughout the seminar you have any questions, feel free. After all, people do.
- 00:28
Debbie Dander
Okay, I see a few familiar faces here from my last presentation, the very popular Ron Zimbezly. Now, today's scheduled presentation was Ron Says Hi to Hygiene. But because of yesterday's little industrial accident, I've been asked to change the program.
- 00:44
Debbie Dander
Okay, let's get started with today's seminar, entitled Ron Is High, Dealing with Drugs in the Workplace. Now, that's a tough, scary subject, isn't it?
- 00:55
Speaker 1
Yes!
- 00:55
Debbie Dander
But remember, you're management. You're tough, scary people. And you know what I say to that? Good for you! Before we begin, I'm going to pass around the drug sampler, a bowl containing the kinds of things you're going to be looking for. Here are marijuana joints, hypodermic needles, vials of crack cocaine, and crystal meth, a.k.a. bumps of cry.
- 01:23
Debbie Dander
There you go. Now, we all know Ron, don't we?
- 01:27
Speaker 1
Yes!
- 01:27
Debbie Dander
His shirt is untucked. His workspace is a little bit less than tidy, and he rarely responds to your cheery good morning. Just the kind of employee you'd expect to be tripping at the switch. I know you're on his side by using the drug lingo. For example, in passing you might say, Ron, before the snowstorm hits, let's have some tea with my friend, Mary Jane.
- 01:54
Debbie Dander
Then we'll ride the white horse. Now, you may want to wink at Ron, telling him in body language, I know you take drugs and I'm into them too.
- 02:04
Debbie Dander
Excellent. I see our drug sampler has made the rounds, and I also notice that it is empty.
- 02:12
Debbie Dander
Well, managers, that naturally brings us to our most reliable method for detecting the drug addicts in our midst, random drug testing. When you get your specimen cup, tinkle away. Yes, we're going to do it right here, right now.
- 02:25
Debbie Dander
Although Dual Lab USA trusts each of you implicitly, we want to make sure you're not giving us, shall we say, milk from someone else's cow.
- 02:33
Debbie Dander
T.T. and the plastic cups, wipe your hands with the moist towelette that we've provided and hand them to your boss and mine, Mr. Glasser.
- 02:41
Debbie Dander
Then we'll move on to the final part of our seminar, Ron is unemployed and has moved back in with his parents. Good luck.
- 02:47
Stupid direct.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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