Debbie Dander: Mafia Management

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:08
   

   Anthony "Poodlecut" Salerno

   Gentlemen, gentlemen, welcome to the Esposito annual family retreat. Now, this year we all know that morale is down due to leaks, nobody knows who to trust, and we've all lost our confidence, right? That's why we've hired Miss Debbie Dander. She's a human motivator.

2. 00:30
   

   Debbie Dander

   It's terrific to be here at this undisclosed place of business, and welcome to today's seminar, Getting Back the Magic. Just being in this room, I'm sensing a lack of trust and a lot of hostility. Hmm. So why don't we just start from scratch? Get to know each other all over again, huh? Jimmy Ice Esposito. Ooh. I don't know if I like that name.

3. 00:51
   

   Debbie Dander

   Ice sounds so very cold and impersonal. What do you do in this organization, Jimmy?

4. 00:57
   

   Jimmy "Ice" Esposito

   Somebody needs to get done, I do.

5. 00:59
   

   Debbie Dander

   So you do, people. Excellent. Then why not a more positive name, like Jimmy the Enabler Esposito? Isn't that better? Super terrific!

6. 01:09
   

   Debbie Dander

   Okay, Anthony Poodlecut Salerno Oh, Poodlecut, that's kind of a girly name, isn't it?

7. 01:16
   

   Anthony "Poodlecut" Salerno

   Poodle is the most virile of dog, Miss Dander

8. 01:18
   

   Debbie Dander

   That's very interesting Anthony, what do you do in this organization?

9. 01:22
   

   Anthony "Poodlecut" Salerno

   I pull the trigger

10. 01:23
    

    Debbie Dander

    So why not Anthony the Actualizer Salerno, huh? Super! Who's next? Little Vic. Now, Vic, we all know that height doesn't make a difference, don't we? Why not try presenting those same qualities in a more positive light? Vertically challenged Vic, huh?

11. 01:38
    

    Little Vic

    I like Little Vic.

12. 01:40
    

    Debbie Dander

    Well, Vic, maybe that's why your family sure of the crack cocaine market is so small. Isn't it time we all start thinking big?

13. 01:49
    

    Little Vic

    Maybe if I was the Actualizer, we would be big. The Actualizer.

14. 01:54
    

    Debbie Dander

    Communication gridlock here. Now, in order to interface more effectively, we have to be honest and specific, because honest plus specific equals super terrific. Vertically challenged, Vic, what specifically is the problem?

15. 02:10
    

    Little Vic

    Okay, well, tell them Jimmy always gets to break the elbows and Anthony always gets to shoot the bullets, but I always gotta clean up.

16. 02:16
    

    Debbie Dander

    Is there a reason that Jimmy and Anthony don't share in the cleanup responsibilities?

17. 02:20
    

    Anthony "Poodlecut" Salerno

    Vic's good at cleanup.

18. 02:21
    

    Debbie Dander

    Well, maybe Vic has other talents, like shattering a kneecap or removing a thumb, huh? Which brings me to my next point. Is that how you always do it, with the firearms?

19. 02:31
    

    Little Vic

    Pretty much, yeah. Oh, most of the time, yes.

20. 02:32
    

    Debbie Dander

    I'm not livin' that up. When's the last time you pulled a tongue through a windpipe for a good old-fashioned Italian necktie? That really sends a message, doesn't it?

21. 02:43
    

    Jimmy "Ice" Esposito

    She's got a point there. Yeah.

22. 02:44
    

    Debbie Dander

    Now let's reinforce our new positive association by forming a hugging mill. Okay, Espositos, on your feet!

23. 02:54
    

    Debbie Dander

    Okay, I'll go first. Jimmy? I'm glad you're on this team.

24. 03:00
    

    Little Vic

    Jimmy, I'm glad you're on this team.

25. 03:01
    

    Anthony "Poodlecut" Salerno

    Jimmy, I'm glad you're on this team. Whoa, whoa, what the heck? Jimmy's carrying a wire! He called the police! That worked for the FBI! He called the police!

26. 03:13
    

    Debbie Dander

    Jimmy, we were just talking about honesty, weren't we? And somebody's not being very honest!

27. 03:19
    

    Anthony "Poodlecut" Salerno

    Why don't we put in practice some of the things we just learned? Vic, how would you like to play the role of Actualizer?

28. 03:24
    

    Little Vic

    I would love to if Anthony would play the role of the Enabler.

29. 03:26
    

    Anthony "Poodlecut" Salerno

    Oh, certainly. I will now disable Jimmy and enable Vic to execute him. But wait. Is there a stronger message we can send?

30. 03:36
    

    Little Vic

    I put forth that we bring Jimmy to the top of a tall building and push him off and let him interface with the pavement.

31. 03:44
    

    Anthony "Poodlecut" Salerno

    You know what I say to that? Super freaking terrific. Super freaking terrific.

32. 03:54
    

    Debbie Dander

    Gentlemen, have a safe trip to your undisclosed place of execution. Oh, super dramatic.