Valets: Batman

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors.

1. 00:01

   Damn, she was fly.

2. 00:02

   She all right.

3. 00:04

   Yo, man, can I ask you a question?

4. 00:05

   Yeah, what?

5. 00:06

   Why everybody messing with the Batmans?

6. 00:10

   See, that's exactly what I've been asking myself.

7. 00:13

   It don't make no sense.

8. 00:14

   Why would you do it?

9. 00:15

   Why would you do that?

10. 00:16

    Why would you try and mess with the Batmans?

11. 00:19

    It's futile.

12. 00:20

    It is.

13. 00:21

    Yo, remember the Heath Ledger's tried to?

14. 00:22

    I mean, the Batmans got armor and we

15. 00:24

    know some martial arts, some movies.

16. 00:26

    Slices, slices, and then tic-a-ting, tic-a-ting, tic-a-ting.

17. 00:29

    No, I'm worried.

18. 00:29

    I got armor and then martial arts.

19. 00:31

    Come on. All you got is a purple suit and some pancake makeup.

20. 00:33

    It's like, come on, man.

21. 00:34

    I mean, come on, man.

22. 00:35

    Why would you mess with the Batmans?

23. 00:38

    That's what I'm saying, man.

24. 00:40

    Oh, remember when Danny DeVito's tried to start walking around,

25. 00:43

    talking about .

26. 00:47

    Come on!

27. 00:50

    Come on, man.

28. 00:52

    I mean, the Batmans is a multi-billionaire with a grudge.

29. 00:55

    You're just a little fat motherfucker in a tuxedo with an umbrella.

30. 00:58

    Exactly, man.

31. 00:59

    Come on, man.

32. 00:59

    It's like a pretend bird can't mess with the Batman.

33. 01:03

    No way, no way.

34. 01:04

    Out of the question, man.

35. 01:05

    Jim Carrey's, though.

36. 01:06

    Jim Carrey's, though.

37. 01:08

    Jim Carrey's.

38. 01:10

    Come on, riddle me this, riddle me that, mans.

39. 01:14

    How's Ace Ventura going to mess with the Batmans?

40. 01:15

    Completely well played.

41. 01:16

    How's Ace Ventura?

42. 01:17

    Well played.

43. 01:18

    Hey, Batmans, I've come to get you.

44. 01:20

    Whoop.

45. 01:20

    Yeah!

46. 01:21

    Now see, how are you supposed to block a batarang

47. 01:24

    from going in your butt with a carefully crafted query?

48. 01:27

    You cannot. That's how.

49. 01:28

    It's impossible.

50. 01:29

    Apes! Apes! Apes!

51. 01:31

    Michelle Pfeifers. Michelle Pfeifers.

52. 01:32

    Michelle Pfeifers tried to mess with the Batman.

53. 01:35

    Michelle Pfeifers tried to mess with the Batman!

54. 01:38

    Michelle Pfeifers tried to mess with the Batman!

55. 01:42

    Michelle Pfeifers. Michelle Pfeifers.

56. 01:43

    Guess what, Michelle Pfeifers? You ain't a real cat.

57. 01:46

    Come on. I'll tell you one thing.

58. 01:47

    Ain't no way you gonna meows with the Batman.

59. 01:50

    What about Arnold Schwarzenegger, though?

60. 01:52

    What's Arnold Schwarzenegger trying to do?

61. 01:54

    What is Arnold Schwarzenegger?

62. 01:55

    Come on.

63. 01:55

    Feel the burn.

64. 01:56

    Feel the burn.

65. 01:57

    Feel the burn.

66. 01:58

    It should be in your triceps.

67. 02:00

    Oh, come on, man.

68. 02:01

    You can't turn up the AC and think that's

69. 02:04

    going to mess with the Batman.

70. 02:05

    What are you supposed to be doing to the Batman?

71. 02:06

    Giving the Batmans a cold?

72. 02:07

    Come on, Batman.

73. 02:08

    Giving the Batmans a sniffle?

74. 02:09

    Batman's talking about bat lozenge.

75. 02:11

    And you're defeated.

76. 02:12

    Come on, man.

77. 02:13

    You know, there is one person, though.

78. 02:15

    Oh, no, no, no.

79. 02:16

    Here it come, though.

80. 02:16

    There is one person who could mess with the Batman.

81. 02:18

    Here it comes right now.

82. 02:19

    No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

83. 02:20

    There's one person who could, did, and shall again

84. 02:23

    It comes right now.

85. 02:25

    Mess with the Batmans.

86. 02:25

    No, no, no.

87. 02:26

    Oh, here it comes.

88. 02:27

    He trained the Batmans.

89. 02:28

    He gave the Batmans his skills.

90. 02:31

    He's a mirror image of the Batmans in fighting powers.

91. 02:35

    I'm talking about Ra's al Ghul, man.

92. 02:38

    That's right.

93. 02:39

    No, right there.

94. 02:39

    Talking about straight up Ra's al Ghul, played by the incomparable Liam Neesons.

95. 02:44

    So even when we are talking about the Batmans, Liam Neesons is my shit.