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911 Call
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Hanging up on a friend mid-call, a man finds a woman passed out on a city sidewalk and phones 911. The dispatcher tries to walk him through checking her pulse and breathing, but he keeps drifting into gushing about how perfect and effortless she is, then freezes at the thought of giving mouth-to-mouth because it would feel disrespectful. His dizzy rhapsody about finding the one ends with him collapsing too. The woman revives, calls 911 herself, and the same operator immediately tells her to marry him.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
She's... beautiful.
That is not relevant to this emergency, sir.
I'm going to need you to marry him.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
Man
This is all about Suzy Diaz. It's Suzy Diaz's party. Suzy Diaz is running the show. I'm just going to show up. If she needs me to bring beer or something, I'm more than happy to.
- 00:10
Man
Oh, dude. Oh, my god. A woman just fainted. I'm going to have to call you back.
- 00:16
Man
Ma'am. Ma'am. Uh, Juan,
- 00:30
911 Operator
9-1-1, what is your emergency?
- 00:32
Man
Yes, yeah, I'm on the corner of Fifth and Metropolitan. And I just came across this woman. and she just passed out on the sidewalk here.
- 00:40
911 Operator
Okay, and is she responsive, sir?
- 00:42
Man
Um...
- 00:43
911 Operator
Okay, sir, is she responsive? Sir? Sir?
- 00:57
Man
Um, no.
- 00:58
911 Operator
Sir, if you can hear me?
- 00:59
Man
She's not responsive. She's...beautiful.
- 01:05
911 Operator
That is not relevant to this emergency, sir. An ambulance is on its way. In the meantime, I need you to check her pulse, sir.
- 01:11
Man
Check her pulse. Right, check her pulse. Okay.
- 01:16
911 Operator
Does she have a pulse, sir?
- 01:18
Man
She does, but her skin is so soft. She doesn't have a ton of makeup, but she's the kind of girl that just doesn't need it. You can see that she put a lot of thought into her outfit, but not just trying too hard. She's perfect.
- 01:34
911 Operator
Sir, may I remind you that you have not spoken a word to this woman. I need you to see if she's breathing.
- 01:39
Man
If she's breathing? Yeah, okay, hold on.
- 01:44
911 Operator
Sir, I need you to stay on track.
- 01:47
Man
Okay, she's not breathing. The love of my life is not breathing. You gotta save my baby!
- 01:51
911 Operator
Do you know how to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?
- 01:53
Man
Yes, I do.
- 01:55
911 Operator
Okay, I need you to administer that now.
- 01:57
Man
Okay, okay. I No, no, I can't, I can't, I can't do it. I can't do it. It's disrespectful. I have to be respectful for her.
- 02:11
911 Operator
Sir, this is the only time it's okay to put your mouth on an unconscious woman. Do it.
- 02:16
Man
I just didn't picture it happening this way. There's butterflies in my stomach, and I'm just... I don't want to mess this up. It's so rare.
- 02:23
911 Operator
Sir, if you can hear me, an ambulance is on its way.
- 02:26
Man
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 02:28
911 Operator
I need you to calm down.
- 02:29
Man
Oh, gosh, my head.
- 02:30
911 Operator
Sir, sir, stay with me.
- 02:32
Man
This is what it feels like to be in love.
- 02:33
911 Operator
Stay with me, sir.
- 02:34
Man
This is what it must feel like when you find the walk, sir. Hey. there. 911, what?
- 03:02
911 Operator
911, what is your emergency?
- 03:04
Passed Out Woman
There's an attractive, confident, well-to-do black man. He just passed out right here on the street.
- 03:10
911 Operator
Okay, ma'am, listen very carefully. I'm going to need you to marry him.
- 03:16
Passed Out Woman
Oh, okay. Shouldn't I give him, like, mouth-to-mouth first?
- 03:21
911 Operator
Yeah, girl, get you some. Shoo.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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