You're tuned to the good stuff

The Last Noelle

Inside Amy Schumer
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.

The setup

A hedge-fund executive returns home for Christmas and rekindles an old romance, until her picture-perfect small town reveals its politics.

Community rating

– / 10

The premise

Here’s the bit.

In a parody of a Hallmark Christmas movie trailer, Noelle returns to Garlandton from her demanding city job. Her sister Amy pulls her into holiday baking, while former boyfriend Finley trades barbs with her and brings firewood to the house. Their renewed romance promises a familiar happy ending until Finley explains his political outlook and shows off his artwork. Noelle finally remembers what drove her away, as the camera reveals the Trump decorations covering the town.

The funny people

Meet the cast. 3

Say it with us

Highly quotable.

That's why I left.

Behind the scenes

The people who made it.

ScriptEnglish · 46 turns

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

  1. 00:02

    Noelle Christensen is a big-city bigwig with a career she always wanted but sometimes life gets in the way

  2. 00:14

    Amy

    hey

  3. 00:20

    Noelle Christianson

    Hey, Amy

  4. 00:21

    Amy

    hey big-shot workaholic little sis we can't wait to see you this weekend at the town's holiday festival that we do every year

  5. 00:29

    Noelle Christianson

    yeah about that listen we are so slammed at the office because of of end-of-year accounts.

  6. 00:35

    Amy

    You tried that last year, okay? And the year before. Look, Noelle, I know our hometown has never been your thing, but it's Christmas time, and everyone's looking forward to seeing Workaholic, Big City Noelle, my little sister who's younger than me, that's you, Christmas, girl! It's Christmas!

  7. 00:57

    Finley

    Watch it! Watch it, lady!

  8. 01:10

    Noelle Christianson

    Hey, you big jerk!

  9. 01:13

    Finley

    Noelle?

  10. 01:15

    Noelle Christianson

    Finley?

  11. 01:16

    Finley

    Last time I saw you, you were breaking up with me at graduation. I moved to the big city to become a skyscraper jockey.

  12. 01:22

    Noelle Christianson

    If you mean managing a Fortune 200 hedge fund, then yes. I did. And you sell Christmas trees?

  13. 01:32

    Finley

    Something wrong with that, Broadway?

  14. 01:33

    Noelle Christianson

    No, I just, I remember you saying you wanted to become a talented painter.

  15. 01:39

    Finley

    Yeah, well, Garlandton ain't a place where dreams come true, is it? My dad's brother's friend got sick, and we lost the farm. anyway enjoy your cell phone

  16. 01:50

    Amy

    little sis can you please peel yourself from your spreadsheets and help me with these baking sheets you used to love making our special christmas cookies

  17. 02:07

    Noelle Christianson

    right

  18. 02:08

    Amy

    uh-oh this calls for

  19. 02:12

    Noelle Christianson

    i think you need a little flour

  20. 02:14

    Uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

  21. 02:34

    Amy

    Finley come in.

  22. 02:35

    Finley

    I

  23. 02:41

    Finley

    I felt bad about before and I know this place's old heater ain't so great so I thought I'd drop off some firewood or have you been in the city too long to remember how to get a fire going? You got an app for that? City slicker?

  24. 02:54

    Noelle Christianson

    An app for what?

  25. 02:57

    Amy

    Okay well okay I'm I'm gonna leave my workaholic little sis to have some privacy with her hot, capable ex from high school that may have been the one that got away.

  26. 03:09

    Finley

    You know, I still pay him a little. Mostly lamb. Mostly landscapes around Garlandton. It's a special place if you really look at it.

  27. 03:24

    Noelle Christianson

    I'm beginning to see that more and more.

  28. 03:39

    This Christmas, Hallmark presents.

  29. 03:46

    Finley

    Noelle, I thought you were heading back to your big city.

  30. 03:51

    Noelle Christianson

    No, I was, but this town is just so magical, especially during the holidays. It makes me remember what really matters.

  31. 04:03

    Finley

    Like all lives.

  32. 04:04

    Noelle Christianson

    You know, I'm not sure why I ever left.

  33. 04:07

    Noelle Christianson

    I'm sorry, what did you say?

  34. 04:08

    Finley

    All lives matter.

  35. 04:17

    Finley

    Lock her up, lock her up.

  36. 04:19

    Christmas! And

  37. 04:22

    Noelle Christianson

    That's why I left. All right, I'm out.

  38. 04:25

    Finley

    But my artwork.

  39. 04:27

    Noelle Christianson

    I'm good.

  40. 04:27

    The last Noel.

  41. 04:30

    Finley

    It's Trump!

  42. 04:30

    You left.

  43. 04:32

    Finley

    He's the best!

  44. 04:32

    For a reason.

  45. 04:34

    Finley

    Christmas!

  46. 04:37

    The award-winning sketch series, Inside Amy Schumer. New season now streaming. Exclusively on Paramount+.

The rabbit hole continues

One more couldn’t hurt.

More from across the archive.

Explore the show