You're tuned to the good stuff
The Last Noelle
The setup
The premise
Here’s the bit.
In a parody of a Hallmark Christmas movie trailer, Noelle returns to Garlandton from her demanding city job. Her sister Amy pulls her into holiday baking, while former boyfriend Finley trades barbs with her and brings firewood to the house. Their renewed romance promises a familiar happy ending until Finley explains his political outlook and shows off his artwork. Noelle finally remembers what drove her away, as the camera reveals the Trump decorations covering the town.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 3
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
That's why I left.
Behind the scenes
The people who made it.

Christine Nangle
Writer


Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:02
Noelle Christensen is a big-city bigwig with a career she always wanted but sometimes life gets in the way
- 00:14
Amy
hey
- 00:20
Noelle Christianson
Hey, Amy
- 00:21
Amy
hey big-shot workaholic little sis we can't wait to see you this weekend at the town's holiday festival that we do every year
- 00:29
Noelle Christianson
yeah about that listen we are so slammed at the office because of of end-of-year accounts.
- 00:35
Amy
You tried that last year, okay? And the year before. Look, Noelle, I know our hometown has never been your thing, but it's Christmas time, and everyone's looking forward to seeing Workaholic, Big City Noelle, my little sister who's younger than me, that's you, Christmas, girl! It's Christmas!
- 00:57
Finley
Watch it! Watch it, lady!
- 01:10
Noelle Christianson
Hey, you big jerk!
- 01:13
Finley
Noelle?
- 01:15
Noelle Christianson
Finley?
- 01:16
Finley
Last time I saw you, you were breaking up with me at graduation. I moved to the big city to become a skyscraper jockey.
- 01:22
Noelle Christianson
If you mean managing a Fortune 200 hedge fund, then yes. I did. And you sell Christmas trees?
- 01:32
Finley
Something wrong with that, Broadway?
- 01:33
Noelle Christianson
No, I just, I remember you saying you wanted to become a talented painter.
- 01:39
Finley
Yeah, well, Garlandton ain't a place where dreams come true, is it? My dad's brother's friend got sick, and we lost the farm. anyway enjoy your cell phone
- 01:50
Amy
little sis can you please peel yourself from your spreadsheets and help me with these baking sheets you used to love making our special christmas cookies
- 02:07
Noelle Christianson
right
- 02:08
Amy
uh-oh this calls for
- 02:12
Noelle Christianson
i think you need a little flour
- 02:14
Uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.
- 02:34
Amy
Finley come in.
- 02:35
Finley
I
- 02:41
Finley
I felt bad about before and I know this place's old heater ain't so great so I thought I'd drop off some firewood or have you been in the city too long to remember how to get a fire going? You got an app for that? City slicker?
- 02:54
Noelle Christianson
An app for what?
- 02:57
Amy
Okay well okay I'm I'm gonna leave my workaholic little sis to have some privacy with her hot, capable ex from high school that may have been the one that got away.
- 03:09
Finley
You know, I still pay him a little. Mostly lamb. Mostly landscapes around Garlandton. It's a special place if you really look at it.
- 03:24
Noelle Christianson
I'm beginning to see that more and more.
- 03:39
This Christmas, Hallmark presents.
- 03:46
Finley
Noelle, I thought you were heading back to your big city.
- 03:51
Noelle Christianson
No, I was, but this town is just so magical, especially during the holidays. It makes me remember what really matters.
- 04:03
Finley
Like all lives.
- 04:04
Noelle Christianson
You know, I'm not sure why I ever left.
- 04:07
Noelle Christianson
I'm sorry, what did you say?
- 04:08
Finley
All lives matter.
- 04:17
Finley
Lock her up, lock her up.
- 04:19
Christmas! And
- 04:22
Noelle Christianson
That's why I left. All right, I'm out.
- 04:25
Finley
But my artwork.
- 04:27
Noelle Christianson
I'm good.
- 04:27
The last Noel.
- 04:30
Finley
It's Trump!
- 04:30
You left.
- 04:32
Finley
He's the best!
- 04:32
For a reason.
- 04:34
Finley
Christmas!
- 04:37
The award-winning sketch series, Inside Amy Schumer. New season now streaming. Exclusively on Paramount+.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
More from across the archive.








