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Vera De Milo: Veracosa, Mistress of Destruction
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
A booming trailer narrator promises that Vera De Milo will follow other muscle stars into fantasy epics as Veracosa, while a montage shows her flexing, swinging swords and brawling with burly warriors in a torchlit dungeon. Chained between her captors, she meets Kee-Man of the Hanna-Barbarians, whose garbled imitation of archaic speech she cannot follow and who demands that she become his bride. When she proudly refuses, he slices away her top to expose her flat chest; mortified, Vera breaks loose, flattens him and poses over his body with her fellow warriors as the title card promises the film is coming soon.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
First, Lou Ferrigno was the Incredible Hulk. Then Arnold Schwarzenegger was Conan.
It is the tongue of my native land, Dyslexia.
For I am Veracosa of British Caledonia, keeper of Nautilus and deceptor of urinalysis.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
The trailer was rerun in the Season 2 finale, "Men on Vacation" (Season 2, Episode 26, first aired September 1, 1991). Its opening narration bills Vera as the successor to Lou Ferrigno's Incredible Hulk and Arnold Schwarzenegger's Conan.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:00
First, Lou Ferrigno was the Incredible Hulk, then Arnold Schwarzenegger was Conan, and now world champion female bodybuilder Vera DeMilo explodes upon the screen as Vera Cosa, Mistress of Destruction.
- 00:18
Watch Watch Vera's biceps bulge as she summons the Spirit Diana Ball. Watch her belly bulge as she lets loose the wind of the gods.
- 00:33
Don't
- 00:36
You'll marvel at all the fierce, incredible vultures!
- 00:43
What's the girl to do? That's the kind of world!
- 01:02
Hey! Move there! Ow! Ah,
- 01:28
Kee-Man
Alas, we meet, my dreaded Viracosa. I am Keyman of the Hanna-Barbarians. I am he that must vanquish thee from thine. Therefore I am, I must.
- 01:41
Vera De Milo
don't understand a word you're saying what kind of language is that
- 01:45
Kee-Man
it is the tongue of my native land dyslexia
- 01:49
Kee-Man
now say you'll be my bride and together we will rule the area
- 01:55
Vera De Milo
knights you
- 02:04
Kee-Man
You are brave as well as beautiful that excites me
- 02:08
Vera De Milo
you shall never taste my ambrosia For I am Veracosa of British Caledonia, Keeper of Nautilus, and Deceptor of your analysis.
- 02:21
Kee-Man
Very well. Then what I cannot have, take it I shall. Yes, I shall unleash the memories that kings and princes have died for.
- 02:34
Vera De Milo
i can't believe you just did that i'm so humiliated
- 02:43
Kee-Man
you asked for it
- 02:47
out.
- 02:51
Kee-Man
no that's the point of it
- 02:53
Kee-Man
oh lord
- 02:56
Vera De Milo
Sleep well, Keno.
- 03:01
Vera De Milo
Let that be a lesson to all those who practice when you mess with my breasts you die like the riot
- 03:21
Veracosa, Mistress of Destruction, coming soon to a theater near you.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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