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The Chosen One
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Chad is yanked from his bedroom into the snowy realm of Etheria, where an elf, a dwarf and a crowned centaur lay out a prophecy that he alone can defeat the Dark Lord. He answers each solemn announcement with a casual okay, and when Queen Chrysalis warns him that the journey is dangerous and optional, he simply wanders back home out of boredom. The court has to coax him back to finish the briefing. The queen then rattles off a list of perils, along with a very personal reward for success, while the elf, dwarf and centaur present the map, crystal and sword meant to guide him. Chad's flat, unbothered reactions keep deflating the grand mythology around him.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 5
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
I was bored.
Can you come back for a moment? We weren't done.
A little extra
Notes from the archive.
SNL Archives lists The Chosen One as a pre-recorded film in the October 7, 2017 episode hosted by Gal Gadot, with Sam Smith as musical guest.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors.
- 00:36
Welcome.
- 00:38
Our
- 00:39
Prophets told of a savior who would arrive from another land
- 00:42
and free our world from the grip of darkness.
- 00:45
What is your birth name?
- 00:46
Chad.
- 00:47
The Dark Lord Azarcon and his army of shadows
- 00:50
has entombed our world in ice and snow.
- 00:52
Only you can defeat him, Chad.
- 00:55
Okay.
- 00:55
We must inform the queen of your arrival.
- 00:58
No need.
- 00:59
I felt his presence.
- 01:02
I am Queen Chrysalis, ruler of Etheria and the Nine Rivers
- 01:07
from Stog to Everseed.
- 01:09
There was a time when these meadows bloomed and there is hope they may bloom again for today marks your coming
- 01:16
coming
- 01:16
So says the prophecy
- 01:21
Okay, but you must undertake a dangerous journey you may return to your world at any time if you desire the choice is yours
- 01:31
But be warm
- 01:32
He left.
- 01:33
What?
- 01:36
Go.
- 01:36
My leash?
- 01:37
Yes.
- 01:39
Chad?
- 01:40
Why
- 01:41
Why did you leave?
- 01:42
I was bored.
- 01:42
Can you come back for a moment? We weren't done.
- 01:45
Okay.
- 01:48
Thank you, Chad.
- 01:49
You have chosen to follow your destiny.
- 01:52
First, you must climb the Mountain of Despair.
- 01:54
Okay.
- 01:55
Then board the River of Flame.
- 01:57
Okay.
- 01:57
And survive the Forest of Translucent Transgressions.
- 02:01
And after the Veil of Evil is lifted,
- 02:03
you will become king,
- 02:04
and I will gift you with my virginity.
- 02:07
Dope.
- 02:09
After your journey.
- 02:10
Oh, okay.
- 02:11
To aid you on this quest,
- 02:13
We give you these items from the order of the Centauri
- 02:16
I present you with this map to guide you thousands of my kind died beyond the mountains to create it
- 02:23
May they rest with the gods. I
- 02:27
and from the kingdom of dwarves
- 02:30
give you the crystal of goom liggin to light your path
- 02:35
Gay and from the elegant
- 02:37
sword of the great warrior Ashley
- 02:42
¶¶
- 02:44
Safe trip.
- 02:47
Safe travels young warrior made the great gods bless you
- 02:51
okay that boy is our last hope i do not see a boy i see a warrior look it's
- 03:07
It's
- 03:08
like a sword as his penis
- 03:09
very clever okay
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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