Chunky (Dan Vega's Mega Money Quiz)

Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.

1. 00:00

   Speaker 1

   Live from Hollywood, California, it's Dan Vega's Mega Money Quiz.

2. 00:05
   

   Dan Vega

   Hi, I'm Dan Vega. Let's get started. Our contestants Paul and Colleen will flip a square from our Mega Money Board and it will show a dollar amount. But remember, watch out for the Chunky. Chunky eats your points and he gets very mad. Colleen, you're up first. Pick a square on the board.

3. 00:28
   

   Colleen

   Second row, four down from the left.

4. 00:31
   

   Dan Vega

   $500. This red condiment can be put on hamburgers.

5. 00:37
   

   Colleen

   Ketchup?

6. 00:38
   

   Dan Vega

   That's right. $500 on the board for you. Good job. Paul, you are up.

7. 00:44
   

   Paul

   Okay, third row, second down.

8. 00:46
   

   Dan Vega

   Okay, let's flip her over. It's a Chunky. Uh-oh, you got a Chunky. Uh-oh, Chunky's here. He's gobbling up your points.

9. 01:03
   

   Paul

   Oh.

10. 01:04
    

    Dan Vega

    Oh, okay, what are you going to do with it? What's the plan?

11. 01:10
    

    Dan Vega

    He's eating your points.

12. 01:15
    

    Paul

    All right. Okay. He's Ow! Stop! Ah!

13. 01:20
    

    Paul

    pulling on my shirt.

14. 01:23
    

    Dan Vega

    What the hell are you doing, Chunky? You can't wreck his shirt. You have to figure out what Chunky does before you come out here. Go!

15. 01:32
    

    Paul

    What the fuck, man? He wrecked my shirt.

16. 01:34
    

    Dan Vega

    Don't swear. Oh my God. What game show have you ever seen that had swearing in it? Ah, yeesh. All right, Colleen, you have control of the board.

17. 01:45
    

    Colleen

    Um, third row, third one down.

18. 01:48
    

    Dan Vega

    $300, all right. Melted or cold from the cow's udders over time it will grow mold.

19. 01:56
    

    Colleen

    Is it cheese?

20. 01:58
    

    Dan Vega

    That's right, it is cheese. It's all right, Paul, you have control of the board.

21. 02:03
    

    Paul

    Fourth row, four down.

22. 02:05
    

    Dan Vega

    Uh-oh, it's a Chunky!

23. 02:09
    

    Paul

    Oh, Frick.

24. 02:11
    

    Dan Vega

    What's this, you have a bag?

25. 02:13
    

    Paul

    What the hell that's my backpack you went in the green room.

26. 02:15
    

    Dan Vega

    You got his bag. What are you gonna do with it?

27. 02:17
    

    Paul

    Hey, that's my laptop. Don't touch that put that back. What are you doing that?

28. 02:21
    

    Dan Vega

    Hey, yeah, don't put that. No chunky

29. 02:23
    

    Paul

    tell him to stop

30. 02:24
    

    Dan Vega

    don't break his laptop. That's expensive

31. 02:28
    

    Paul

    Thank you No!

32. 02:29
    

    Dan Vega

    Did I just say, Don't break it freaking laptop.

33. 02:33
    

    Paul

    You gotta pay for that.

34. 02:35

    Speaker 2

    I don't

35. 02:36
    

    Dan Vega

    Don't talk you can't talk chunky the mouth on it. Don't come over by me Stay over there! Figure out what you do! You had all summer to think of it. Okay, Paul, you just went. You have control of the board again.

36. 02:56
    

    Paul

    Third down, fourth row.

37. 02:58
    

    Dan Vega

    That's it, Chunky.

38. 02:59
    

    Paul

    You didn't even turn it over.

39. 03:00
    

    Dan Vega

    I came up with this game. I know what all the little things are.

40. 03:05
    

    Paul

    Oh, my God.

41. 03:06
    

    Dan Vega

    What is it? What are you doing with the bag, Chunky? A hat?

42. 03:10
    

    Paul

    That's my hat.

43. 03:11
    

    Dan Vega

    What is the hat thing? You want to put the hat on him?

44. 03:14

    Speaker 2

    Yeah!

45. 03:14
    

    Dan Vega

    Oh, yeah, okay, let's see what that does.

46. 03:17
    

    Paul

    Stop. Ow. Ow, what is this? Fine, I'm wearing my own hat.

47. 03:26
    

    Colleen

    We haven't been to the board in a long time.

48. 03:29
    

    Dan Vega

    Yeah, I know, Colleen. This show's gonna suck. We just gotta figure out, like, what Chunky's deal is.

49. 03:35
    

    Paul

    Like, don't throw away the hat.

50. 03:36
    

    Dan Vega

    Don't talk! The mouth on the thing doesn't move! It looks fake!

51. 03:43
    

    Dan Vega

    That's, yeah, that's a good idea. Dump it.