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Gallon of PCP
SKETCH-O-VISION
A VERY GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME.
The setup
Watch on YouTube
Watch onYouTube
The premise
Here’s the bit.
Zach and Trevor, who haven't seen each other since their senior year at Brown, run into each other in a park. Zach is holding a jug labeled PCP and calmly confirms that it is a full gallon and that carrying it is a felony, while Trevor struggles to take it in. Their catch-up lurches between small talk and alarm: Zach has a successful job in property acquisitions while Trevor works at an office supply store, and when Trevor asks after an old friend, Zach explains that she was killed that afternoon after he left her with his dealer as collateral and got distracted. Admitting he is very high, Zach brings up a mutual acquaintance Trevor has never met, then hurries off with the jug to pick up his kids from soccer practice.
The funny people
Meet the cast. 2
Say it with us
Highly quotable.
This is a gallon of PCP.
I didn't even know it came in liquid form. Science.
I'm good. I'm pretty high right now.
Script
Automatically generated script; wording may contain errors. Speaker labels are inferred.
- 00:04
Trevor
Zach? Zach? Zach Kreger?
- 00:07
Zach
Yeah. Trevor? Trevor... Trevor Moore!
- 00:11
Trevor
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 00:11
Zach
How you doing?
- 00:12
Trevor
Good.
- 00:13
Zach
I haven't seen you in, like, seven...
- 00:15
Trevor
Eight.
- 00:16
Zach
Eight years.
- 00:17
Trevor
Since senior year at Brown.
- 00:19
Zach
Right. It's good to see you. Look at you. You look great.
- 00:21
Trevor
Thank you.
- 00:22
Trevor
Man, what do you got there?
- 00:24
Zach
Uh, this is a gallon of PCP.
- 00:30
Trevor
A gallon?
- 00:32
Zach
Yes.
- 00:32
Trevor
That's illegal, right?
- 00:34
Zach
Yeah, it's a felony.
- 00:35
Trevor
It's a felony?
- 00:36
Zach
Yes.
- 00:37
Trevor
Wow. And, uh, here you are with it anyway. That is... wow. I, uh, I didn't even know it came in liquid form.
- 00:45
Zach
Science.
- 00:46
Trevor
Whoa. So, uh, uh, do you do a lot of PCP?
- 00:52
Zach
Got a gallon.
- 00:53
Trevor
I guess, I guess you do.
- 00:54
Zach
Yeah.
- 00:55
Trevor
Wow. So what do you do?
- 00:58
Zach
I work in an investment firm downtown. It's mostly, like, property acquisitions.
- 01:03
Trevor
Huh. Huh, that sounds successful.
- 01:06
Zach
What do you do?
- 01:07
Trevor
I work at the Binko's.
- 01:09
Zach
I don't know what Binko's is.
- 01:11
Trevor
It's a office supply store type thing.
- 01:14
Zach
Secretary stuff?
- 01:15
Trevor
Eh, but a gallon.
- 01:17
Zach
Yeah.
- 01:18
Trevor
Here you are with a gallon. Wow, man, do you still see Candace?
- 01:24
Zach
No, she passed away.
- 01:27
Trevor
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know. How long ago did that happen?
- 01:31
Zach
About four.
- 01:33
Trevor
About four years ago?
- 01:34
Zach
No, p.m.
- 01:37
Trevor
4 p.m. As in today, 4 p.m. That, it's 5 o'clock now.
- 01:44
Zach
Yeah.
- 01:44
Trevor
So that was recent. What happened?
- 01:48
Zach
I was at my dealer's house.
- 01:50
Trevor
Uh-huh.
- 01:51
Zach
I was buying the PCP.
- 01:52
Trevor
Of course.
- 01:52
Zach
And I didn't have enough money for all of the gallons.
- 01:56
Trevor
Oh, it's expensive.
- 01:57
Zach
But I wanted the whole gallon.
- 01:58
Trevor
Of course.
- 01:59
Zach
So I'd set up a deal where I would leave her as collateral and I would go hit an ATM and come right back
- 02:05
Trevor
I see
- 02:06
Zach
problem but you know when I left I I got distracted and he cut her head off
- 02:13
Trevor
whoa wow and that happened today just a little while ago man are you okay are you doing all right
- 02:25
Zach
no yeah I'm good I'm pretty high right now
- 02:27
Trevor
right Right, because of the PCP, which you have.
- 02:30
Zach
Yeah.
- 02:30
Trevor
Yes.
- 02:31
Zach
Yeah. Man, you know, I ran into Bill the other day, and he's doing really good.
- 02:37
Trevor
I don't know Bill.
- 02:38
Zach
You don't? That's right. No, you wouldn't know Bill. But he's doing good.
- 02:43
Trevor
That's good?
- 02:44
Zach
Yeah. It's good to see.
- 02:46
Trevor
Good for Bill.
- 02:47
Zach
Well, it was good to see you, Trevor.
- 02:48
Trevor
It was nice seeing you.
- 02:49
Zach
I got to go. I got to pick my kids up. I'm running late.
- 02:51
Trevor
Oh, you have kids. You are on your way to pick up children with your gallon thing.
- 02:58
Zach
I don't want them to lose their heads.
- 02:59
Trevor
Oh, you left them with the guy, the PCP guy.
- 03:02
Zach
No, no, they're at soccer practice. I'm late, they spazz.
- 03:05
Trevor
Oh, it was a joke. I get it. Well... Good to see you.
- 03:09
Zach
Nice seeing you.
- 03:09
Trevor
Okay.
- 03:10
Zach
I'll tell Bill you said hi.
- 03:11
Trevor
I don't know him.
- 03:12
Zach
Oh, that's right, you don't. See you later.
The rabbit hole continues
One more couldn’t hurt.
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